It appears the 'acting president' of our country, George W. Bush (the real el presidente is of course Dick Cheney) decided not to throw out the first pitch for the Washington Nationals' home opener against the Florida Marlins earlier this week. The former CEO of the Texas Rangers ( in hind sight, one has to wonder what would have happened if they had won the A.L. pennant, but Bush in his infinite wisdom traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago Cubs) was apparently to busy preparing a speech about how mad he is at the Democrats for wanting to get this country out of the mess in Iraq. He was also preparing to dump on Cong. Nancy Pelosi for visiting Damascus, Syria, which three Republican Congressmen including my good friend (and, I mean that in all seriousness) Cong. Frank Wolf visited just three days earlier.
Bush spokesperson Emily Lawrimore told the "Washington Post" that Bush couldn't throw out the first pitch because: "It's not possible with his schedule."
When asked by the Post, if the real reason why Bush couldn't be at the Nationals' game was actually because he feared that he would be bamboozled with boos, Lawrimore said: "No, certainly not."
The real president, Mr. Cheney, was in Alabama at a fundrasier where he blasted Congressional Democrats for wanting to back out of the war effort. I guess there is always a one in a zillion chance that our troops will be greeted with Kit Kat bars in Kirkuk.
As for the Nationals, there were stomped by the Marlins. The finals score of the game was 7-2. Only two presidents have skipped the traditional Opening Day pitch. They were Woodrow Wilson and my all-time favorite GOP president, Richard M. Nixon.
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