Top Ten Things To Do List (Satire): Read Golf Digest

Tonight is yet another exciting Sunday night in which one can't wait to sit by the barns in Boones Mill, Virginia, and gaze up at the stars while swatting mosquitoes.

BTW, we did not go to Indiana for the Final Four, that was an April Fool's Joke, you know that right?

Here is a satirical look at what needs to be taken care of this upcoming week:

1. Get the current issue of "Golf Digest"

2. Actually play a game of golf, or at least, indulge in some Putt-Putt...

3. Go to Bethesda, Maryland, to visit F. Scott Fitzgerald's grave (center image)

4. Call "The Atlanta Journal-Constitution" to ask for today's Sunday paper even though I reside 7.5 hours away (the Atlanta Braves start baseball season tomorrow.....we think)

5. Mapquest directions to Omaha, Nebraska, to see an Omaha Storm Chasers game even though I live 18.5 hours east of there.

6. Play Donkey Kong for 9.5 hours at one time

7. Watch the entire first two seasons of "Doctor Who"

8. Laundry

9. Recycling

10. Oil Change

https://www.facebook.com/omahastormchasers

http://www.fscottfitzgeraldsociety.org/

http://www.bbcamerica.com/doctor-who/

http://www.ajc.com/

http://www.golfdigest.com/

Silly Photo to Fill Space- Sock Monkey

It is getting proverbially close to that time of the year again, and we are not talking about exams (well, they will be here before Christmas).

My good friends Tom Angleberger and Cece Bell, a husband and wife children's book author team (though they do their own work; Cece writes the Sock Monkey series) are among those who look forward to this time of year in the hope that parents all over America will ignore the recession and buy lots of lots of books so they can add a chimney to their farmhouse in Boones Mill, Va. (not really where they live; in-joke!).

So, in their honor, we are posting this photo.

Cece Bell would probably want me to mention that her Sock Monkey series should not be confused with the adult comic strips/books by Tony Millionaire which also featues a Sock Monkey character, though his is considerably more demented!

Things We Learned From Twitter This PM- Ricky Martin to Be in Broadway Musical

Pop singer Ricky Martin who recently made headlines by coming out of the closet (which to those of you in Tashkent, Uzbekistan, means that he's gay), will be joining the Broadway cast of the world-famous musical "Evita" based on the life of Argentinian political figure/actress Evita Peron in 2012 according to a tweet from "Interview" magazine.

Martin will play the character of Che?! (as in Che Guevara?, that would be interesting!).

SIDEBAR: We also want to take a moment to jokingly congratulate Republican congressional candidate Robert Hurt who will be facing our good friend Cong. Tom Perriello (D-Va) this November in the general election. NPR has said this race could among the most highly contested ones nationally. Of course, we hope Perriello pummels Hurt from Charlottesville to South Hill to Boones Mill (all of which are in Virginia's fifth district).

But, admitedly, Perriello will face several political obstacles as the area has a high number of 'Guns, God and Country' conservatives. These folks, also known as Tea Partiers, are in virtually every part of the district except Charlottesville, which is also Perriello's home town.

To help out Perriello, one can log on to http://www.perrielloforcongress.com

Right-Wing Radicals Say the Darndest Things...

"You're Never to Old to Find God"*

*-Actual church sign I saw in Boones Mill, Va., on Route 220 near Roanoke in Franklin County.

We couldn't resist posting it with an image from the Boris Karloff classic "The Mummy" (1932).

PSA- Don't Go Deer-Huntin' While Intoxicated

I don't imagine these deer hunters in South Dakota thought that they would end up on a left-of-center blog (relax guys- I'm not into Che Guevarra t-shirts or Birkenstocks).

But, since we pass through Boones Mill, Va., which is in Franklin County (moonshine country) quite often, that we would most this PSA for folks who may combine things which shouldn't be---and we aren't refering to cocaine and Zoloft (you may have to see a certain Ben Stiller movie to get that joke).

And, our PSA is:

"Don't hunt Bambis if you've had too many Budweisers."

Well, the library is about to close. Save some venison for me, boys!

A Republican Bumper Sticker I Actually Agree With

As I was driving down Route 220 near Boones Mill, Va., the other day, I came across a military veteran who had all sorts of right-wing bumper stickers, including one about how to annoy liberals by getting a job.

There was one that I actually agreed with though, but for different reasons.

It said:

"Sarah Palin 2012"

I was thinking: "Wow, if that happened, President Barack Obama could conceivably win every state in the country.......ok, except Alaska."