Top Ten Things To Do List (Satire): Read Golf Digest

Tonight is yet another exciting Sunday night in which one can't wait to sit by the barns in Boones Mill, Virginia, and gaze up at the stars while swatting mosquitoes.

BTW, we did not go to Indiana for the Final Four, that was an April Fool's Joke, you know that right?

Here is a satirical look at what needs to be taken care of this upcoming week:

1. Get the current issue of "Golf Digest"

2. Actually play a game of golf, or at least, indulge in some Putt-Putt...

3. Go to Bethesda, Maryland, to visit F. Scott Fitzgerald's grave (center image)

4. Call "The Atlanta Journal-Constitution" to ask for today's Sunday paper even though I reside 7.5 hours away (the Atlanta Braves start baseball season tomorrow.....we think)

5. Mapquest directions to Omaha, Nebraska, to see an Omaha Storm Chasers game even though I live 18.5 hours east of there.

6. Play Donkey Kong for 9.5 hours at one time

7. Watch the entire first two seasons of "Doctor Who"

8. Laundry

9. Recycling

10. Oil Change

https://www.facebook.com/omahastormchasers

http://www.fscottfitzgeraldsociety.org/

http://www.bbcamerica.com/doctor-who/

http://www.ajc.com/

http://www.golfdigest.com/

Has It Really Been Six Years?

The short answer is 'yes.' It has been six years since I've started blogging, and apparently, there is a real Channel 6 in Omaha, Neb., but we have no idea if we are popular in that marketplace or not!

SIDEBAR: According to a short article I read in the current issue of "Film Comment," the sappy film "The Champ" (1979. Dir- Franco Zeffirelli), which starred Jon Voight, Faye Dunaway and a young Rick Schroder (he is the same age as I am) is the most depressing film ever made. Researchers at Cal-Berkeley verified this in a scientific study conducted over many years. But, my vote would go to Ingmar Bergman's downer "Fanny and Alexander" or the Louis Malle tear-jerker "Au Revoir Les Enfants."

Quoting Romeo and Juliet for V-Day

Yes, I know. I am getting suffocated from Valentine's Day nonsense myself, but of course since I am an American (well my late father came from Turkey) why not be a bit of a contrarian/hypocrite and indulge in this madness/nonsense.

So, here is a quip from "Romeo and Juliet," which will probably be made into a 3-D movie soon:

"But, soft! What light through window breaks? It is the east and Juliet is the son."

We learned that the American Shakespeare Center in Staunton, Va., is not performing "Romeo and Juliet" at the moment, but they will be staging the John Marston play "The Malcontent," including a performance on Sat., Feb. 19 at 2:00 p.m.

SIDEBAR: For those American tourists who have the spare time to span the globe and the courage to stay in the Middle East in spite of political upheaval, you can go to Tel Aviv, Israel, to see everyone's favorite Russian emigre punk band Gogol Bordello perform at the Barby Club there from Feb. 28-March 2. The band is actually giving three concerts at the venue!

They later head to Rome, Italy, for a concert on my 41st birthday (March 4th) at the Atlantico Live Club before heading to one of my favorite cities Istanbul, Turkey, for a March 11th concert at the Babylon.

But, for those of you who live in Nebraska and prefer classical music (I actually like everything from heavy metal to classical, but I'm the first to admit that would make for quite a surreal mixed tape!) there will be a performance of Beethoven's Ninth Symphony on Fri., March 4 at 8:00 p.m. and on Sunday, March 6 at 2:00 p.m. with conductor Thomas Wilkins at the Holland Performing Arts Center in Omaha. The performance will be from the Omaha Symphony. It should be fun; be sure to wear your Grateful Dead tye-dye t-shirt to the event!

Pardon the Interuption...

Yes, it was one of those weeks. I was trying to contact the local travel agent in Omaha, Nebraska (now where I actually reside, not even close!) and arrange a getaway-from-it-all trip to La Paz, Bolivia, but then a call came through call-waiting. Actually, there were two of them. One was from my mom, and the other from boss. So much for sneaking away to the Andes!

But, for those who can sneak away to the DC Improv Comedy Club in Washington, DC, there will be a performance from former "Saturday Night Live" news anchor Norman Macdonald from Oct. 28-31, which interferes with both Turkish Republic's Day (Oct. 29) and Halloween (for those in Adana--Turkey's fourth largest city--that day in Oct. 31). Are the rumors that Macdonald actually, somehow went out on a date with supermodel/actress Elle MacPherson true?! It's hard to believe she is 47 years old now!

Things We Learned on Twitter Today- Greece and Israel Are in a Relationship

Greetings from the Starbucks in Front Royal, Va., a town where actor Robert Duvall once resided in a horse farm (we are not actually in Front Royal but there is a Starbucks there), where today we are posting about a new pact between Greece and Israel.

I suppose the headline does indicate a slight Turkish-American bias (for those of you in Welch, WVa, where in all probability no Greek-American or Jewish person resides, Turkey and Greece were enemies but are now friends. Conversely, Turkey and Israel were friends, but well things have changed!).

According to a tweet from The Jerusalem Post, Greek and Israeli relations have improved since the infamous flotilla raids. While the pirate-style invasions of the relief vessels meant to give food and aid to Palestinians made international headlines because of the raid aboard the Turkish ship The Marmara which killed nine people all of whom were Turkish, several Greek ships were targeted in the same dubious effort as well.

But, this week eight Israeli choppers are taking part in search and rescue efforts in southern Greece, according to the Israeli newspaper.

Conversely, right-wing Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu visited Athens in August, and the Jersualem Post reports he has no such plans to dine with the Erdogans in Ankara (Recep Tayyip Erdogan, whom a friend of mine in Bursa, Turkey, calls The Turkish Bush is the PM of Turkey).

SIDEBAR_ Today, we add Mercy High School in Omaha, Neb., to our long list of High Schools of the Week. We were wondering why the school, nicknamed The Monarchs, had no football team until we found out they were an all-girls' Catholic school. Carolyn Jaworski is the principal of the school, which has its own Facebook and Twitter pages.

My Ten Favorite Films of Henry Fonda

Henry Fonda (1905-1982) would have turned 105 on Sunday. One might assume he was the most famous actor to ever hail from Omaha, Nebraska, but so did (surprisingly!) Marlon Brando.

Brando never co-starred with the elder Fonda in any films, but he was in "Apocalypse Now" with Dennis Hopper, who is the subject of a similar entry on our sister blog "The Daily Vampire."

We are also hoping to have a similar entry for Jane Fonda soon.

Here are our ten favorite (not in order of how good they are cinematically) films featuring Henry Fonda:

1. "Once Upon a Time in the West" (Pictured.Italy. 1968, Dir-Sergio Leone)
2. "The Ox-Bow Incident" (1943. Dir-William Wellman)
3. "The Grapes of Wrath" (1940. Dir-John Ford)
4. "The Wrong Man" (1956. Dir-Alfred Hitchcock)
5. "My Darling Clementine" (1946. Dir-John Ford)
6. "Young Mr. Lincoln" (1939. Dir- John Ford)
7. "Drums Along the Mohawk" (1939. Dir- John Ford)
8. "12 Angry Men" (1957. Dir-Sidney Lumet)
9. "The Tin Star" (1957. Dir- Anthony Mann)
10. "Madigan" (1967. Dir- Don Siegel)