20-Word Fiction: The Family Vacation Debate

Did they really have to remake "National Lampoon's Vacation?" Weren't Chevy Chase, Anthony Michael Hall and Christie Brinkley great the first time around back in 1983?

Well, however, you feel, reading this entry will take up significantly less time than watching the remake with Ed Helms.

"The kids all want to go to Disney World. But, the wife wants to go to the Mall of America instead."

Ok, so this is 21 words.......

Silly Photo to Fill Space- the Tom and Jerry Necktie

One of the items on my Christmas wish list that we published back on Dec. 5 was a Tom and Jerry necktie. We mentioned the same time several months ago when we quipped that a guy can know he's in trouble on a first date if the girl asks: "Which one is the mouse?"

For those of you in Tashkent, Uzbekistan, who were born when Bill Clinton (another saxophone player) was president, Jerry is the mouse (did we really need to say that?! Yes, we probably did).

The Tom and Jerry necktie retails for circa $15 on most online sites, like zazzle.com

An interesting historical note about the characters is that a new incarnation of "Tom and Jerry" appeared on a series with Grape Ape (who looks like a purple King Kong with a baseball cap) cartoons in 1975.

The producers who perhaps later went on to advise George W. Bush (forgive the center-left political humor, kids! and Newt Gingrich if you are reading this) thought it would be a idea to make Tom and Jerry friends instead of the bitter rivals they had been for four decades before. By doing this, they thus ruined the basic plot premise that drove the storyline. A familiar gag that worked as well for kids in Dubai as it did kids in Topeka. And, of course, the new 'toons flopped.

Actually, a Grape Ape lunchbox would be a nifty item to have as well, but there are folks starving on the streets, especially in Detroit (read a depressing, but well-written article in "Mother Jones" about that), so wanting such things seem pointless and trivial.

You can probably find the Tom and Jerry cheaper than $15 if you look hard enough:)

Silly Picture to Fill Space- George McGovern T-Shirt

Today we are featuring items from our Christmas Wish List, posted here last week.

For those of who weren't around in 1972 (well, I was only two years old myself), George McGovern ran an unsuccesful presidential campaign against Richard Nixon. Though McGovern, who was a senator from South Dakota, only won Massachuessetts, Nixon went on to become an infamous, though very unique, president (Nixon is my favorite Republican president; of course, I am a fairly partisan Democrat!).

McGovern, who is considered the most liberal presidential candidate in modern times, is still alive at age 88 and according to Wikipedia, he still resides in Mitchell, S.Dak. McGovern was also known for his vehement opposition to the Vietnam War.

We learned while researching this that Sargent Shriver, Ahnuld's father-in-law, was actually McGovern's running mate; he replaced Thomas Eagleton after it was revealed that he had suffered mental illness. Of course, nowadays, we have Zoloft, so things like this would not be political liabilities (eyes rolling).

The McGovern '72 t-shirt is available from retrocampaigns.com

They also offer t-shirts from winning campaigns and from Republican (as well as other Democratic) presidential losers, like Barry Goldwater '64. But, we didn't see any t-shirts with Bob Dole or John McCain on their web site! Perhaps, that is not retro enough....?!

The Top 10-Christmas Wish List (Cool Gifts Edition)

I know there is this fundamentalist church in the hamlet of Riner, Va., which put out these signs in the neighborhood saying "Putting Christ Back in Christmas."

While I fully respect people's religion and their right to worship as they choose, I do wonder if the folks who have those signs in their yard will sell out and go the New River Valley Mall in nearby Christiansburg, Va., just as us liberals would pump gas at a BP station to avoid running out of gas in rural Arkansas, where we would assuredly be shot on sight!

But, irregardless if you view Christmas as a sacred holiday or as an opportunity to shop and drink lots and lots of egg nog, we all like gifts, and these are the 10 gifts I would love to have more than any other.

Now, for this list, I only focused on things which are realistically affordable so the $3,499 Hottie 454 Guitar that is featured in the gift guide edition of "Rolling Stone" isn't on the list. Besides, I can't play guitar anyway!

I am also not asking for a trip to see my favorite current rock band Gogol Bordello perform in Oslo, Stockholm and Helsinki this weekend---though that would have been so cool! (Closer to home, they will be at the Jefferson Theatre in Charlottesville, Va., on Dec. 28).

So, here is the list, feel free to get everything on this list for me if you are so inclined, and of course, if you do, I will make a generous donation to an orphanage in Cambodia:

1. DeadMau5 Mini and/or the DeadMau5 CD "4X4=12"_ For those who have no idea what I'm talking about, DeadMau5(pictured here, pronounced Dead Mouse) is a hip, happening dj from Toronto (real name is Joel Zimmerman) who Wikipedia describes as "a progressive, electro and house dj." If you choose not to get this for me, I'm sure my 70-year-old mom will like it just as well:)

2. New CDs from Ra Ra Riot, Queen and/or The Grateful Dead_ I saw the band Ra Ra Riot in Chapel Hill, NC, a few weeks ago, and I would love to have their ne cd "The Orchard" (retail $16.99)

3. McGovern '72 t-shirt- Believe it or not, there is a web site called retrocampaigns.com which has t-shirts from virtually all succesful and failed campaigns since FDR, including a t-shirt for George McGovern's 1972 unsuccesful White House run and Barry Goldwater's futile 1964 campaign.

4. Tom and Jerry necktie ($15)_ Hey, the one I saw of them playing saxophones is really cool. And, besides if Ok Cupid hooks me up with a girl who asks: "Which one is the mouse?" then I'll know I'm in trouble!

5. Six bottles of Turkish ayran (yogurt/milk beverage which retails for $11.99 from tulumba.com)_ An Istanbul taxi driver named Atilla Kalkan (the guy's actual name, still have his business card) gave me the recipe. I tried to find him on Facebook, but apparently I found a different Atilla Kalkan who was not happy that I wanted 'to be his friend.'

6. "How I Learned to Drive," "Art" or "Blue/Orange" from LA Theatre Works ($15-20)_ Like my cousin in rural Missouri (family in-joke), I happen to love the theatre. But, if we have a nightmarish winter, it might be nice to stay in and listen to one of these three plays. My friend Todd Ristau, a playwright/stage director, in Roanoke, Va., actually played the lead male role in "How I Learned to Drive" several years ago.

7. A Subscription to "Mental Floss" ($27.95)_ It is one of the few magazines I don't subsribe to, but unlike "Soldier of Fortune," this magazine is one I'd definitely want to read!

8. New books from Rob Sheffield ("Talking to Girls About Duran Duran, $26) or "Griftopia" by Matt Taibbi ($25). Both of these "Rolling Stone" writers have new books out, and they both seem like great reads.

9. Fedora ($17-40). This should really be number one! Apparently, they are trying to hawk them on Hats on the Belfry (an Alexandria, Va., hat shop) and cyber malls on the Internet. Johnny Depp has made the black fedoras quite hip.

10. A Starbucks or Chevron gift card- Hey, like any other 40-year-old guy, I can always use free gas or free coffee!

Silly Photo to Fill Space- Sock Monkey

It is getting proverbially close to that time of the year again, and we are not talking about exams (well, they will be here before Christmas).

My good friends Tom Angleberger and Cece Bell, a husband and wife children's book author team (though they do their own work; Cece writes the Sock Monkey series) are among those who look forward to this time of year in the hope that parents all over America will ignore the recession and buy lots of lots of books so they can add a chimney to their farmhouse in Boones Mill, Va. (not really where they live; in-joke!).

So, in their honor, we are posting this photo.

Cece Bell would probably want me to mention that her Sock Monkey series should not be confused with the adult comic strips/books by Tony Millionaire which also featues a Sock Monkey character, though his is considerably more demented!

Merry Christmas from LeBron James!

If you aren't doing anything besides drinking egg nog and playing with the family cat on Christmas Day, you may want to watch at least some portion of the Los Angeles Lakers game with the Cleveland Cavaliers.

LeBron James should make the game interesting, though it's being played in L.A.

SIDEBAR: Lots of last-minute shoppers today, including Paul Flynn of Salt Lake City, Utah, who told local tv station KLC that he just had to be at the Fashion Place Mall in SLC on Christmas Eve:

"My fiancee actually works in this mall," Flynn told the news station. "I didn't have the opportunity before today to come out and shop for her."

UPDATE: LeBron James and the Cavs ended up winning this game.