Thoughts on the GOP Convention_ The Empty Chair

Last night, we witnessed the surreal attempt by Clint Eastwood to pull off an Eddie Murphy as he made a failed stand-up comedy routine at the 2012 Republican National Convention in Tampa, Fla., with an empty chair to represent President Barack Obama, which he referred to as 'Invisible Obama.'

We have to wonder what objective journalists like Gwen Ifill of PBS and Brian Williams of NBC were making of this, but liberal commentator Cek Uygur was having a blast making fun of Eastwood's speech on Current-TV.

Assuredly tonight's production of "The Lion in the Winter" (not a Shakespeare play) at the American Shakespeare Center in Staunton, Va., should be considerably more entertaining than last night's Eastwood debacle.

We actually watched close to seven hours of coverage of the Republican Convention, even though I am more likely to throw out the first pitch at a Washington Nationals game than vote for the Mitt Romney/Paul Ryan ticket. The 'Nats, by the way, have a home game with the St. Louis Cardinals tonight.

We are going to cover our thoughts on the GOP convention in an unconventional manner as we use these seven terms to describe the events we witnessed on PBS and Current-TV. : Nutella, Saturday Night Live, Tim Robbins, Attila the Hun, Kurt Cobain, Jordyn Wieber and New Zealand. Yes, we got the idea form Mad Libs:

"New Jersey governor Chris Christie of New Jersey reportedly ate seven bagels with Nutella backstage before his prime time speech on Tuesday night, which was one of the highlights of the Tampa Republican convention. Though the partisans gave mostly red meat speeches, the Republicans are hoping that comparing president Barack Obama to Mao Tse Tung will persuade an undecided voter in Akron, Ohio, to vote for the Romney/Ryan ticket, which is almost as brilliant as getting Clint Eastwood to host 'Saturday Night Live.' After the Eastwood fiasco, Karl Rove might say getting Tim Robbins to speak in Charlotte, NC, at the party convention would help even things out on Fox-TV. But, we fully expect David Axelrod to ignore him. Paul Ryan proved he is hip as he mentioned that bands like Nirvana are in his i-pad, but he also laid it out clear that he is to the right of Attila the Hun, which is a vital characteristic for today's Republican Party.   Every Olympic athlete except Jordyn Wieber, an Olympic gymnast who won team gold in London, was brought on stage to make hollow testimonials about how Romney is as great as Superman. After Marco Rubio's speech which was a prelude to Romney's big talk, many Democratic voters will likely attempt to get political asylum in New Zealand should Batman and Robin actually get elected."

http://www.madlibs.com

http://www.nirvana.com

http://www.ohiodems.org

http://www.floridadems.org

http://www.nuttelausa.com

http://www.jordynwieber.com

http://www.newzealand.com

http://www.nationals.com

http://www.amercianshakespearecenter.com

Quote of the Week- Gerald Ford

Today, we conclude our series which has featured quotes from the last 12 presidents before Barack Obama, starting with Franklin D. Roosevelt (we ran quotes on both blogs; the other one is The Daily Vampire which features a quote from Jimmy Carter today).

Virtually every president in modern times has played golf, but the game is asscoiated with Gerald Ford and Dwight D. Eishenhower more than anyone else, so for that reason this quip seems to be the most appropriate:

"I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators."

The Gerald Ford Museum in Ann Arbor, Mich., is featuring an exhibit on the president's visit to Mao Tse Tung's China and a special exhbit on Betty Ford is running until Feb. 27, 2011.

SIDEBAR: Of course, we have to mention Chevy Chase whenever we mention Gerald Ford since the president's clumsiness was lampooned by the then-emerging star on "Saturday Night Live" in 1975. Chevy Chase, Md., happens to be a DC-suburb. And, our favorite DC suburb Bethesda, Md., is just a few zip codes over from there. If one is in Bethesda, they may want to visit The Lebanese Taverna (apologies to those of you who think a Turkish-American should only promote Turkish restaurants; we love Tallula's in Chapel Hill, NC, btw). The joint in Maryland is offering cooking lessons this month focusing on dishes like spinach salad and quince tarts. I guess one of the ironies of living in a small town is that I am one of the few people I know who thinks living in the 'burbs would be simply awesome!

Top 10 Riskiest Neckties to Wear to Work...

The "Tom and Jerry" necktie pictured above probably would NOT cause problems at work unless you had a very uptight boss, however even in hip, liberal places like Berkeley, Calif., or Boulder, Colo., many of these neckties would not be cool. Conversely, rebel flag and Stop Abortion neckties would not work well in an office environment in Lynchburg, Va., (actually we're not certain about that!).

Incidentally, all of these listed ties are available from zazzle.com or other Internet outlets!

Here is our list:

1. Che Guevara necktie (pictured)
2. Marijuana leaf necktie (pictured)
3. Old Soviet Union flag necktie
4. Chairman Mao neckties
5. Stop Abortion neckties
6. Koranic scripture neckties (definitely not a good idea on the Liberty University campus!)
7. Confederate Flag necktie
8. Playboy emblem necktie
9. Two Grooms with Brown Hair necktie (or any other overt gay neckties, not in the fashion sense)
10. Nude Woman Drinking Beer necktie

Other ties that were considered:

Palestinian Flag neckties (really bad idea if you're going to meet with Sen. Joe Lieberman on The Hill).
Rush Limbuagh neckties
Josef Stalin neckties
No Condom neckties
Mustafa Kemal Ataturk neckties (bad idea if you're in Glendale, Calif., which is home to America's largest Armenian population!)

Quote of the Week- Mao Tse Tung

Since we made the decision in jest to quote radical left-wing folks this month on our blog (perhaps, not the wisest decision considering I live in a town just slightly to the left of Provo, Utah), we are continuing on with a quip from the brutal Chinese dictator Mao Tse Tung (1893-1976), who apparently never got to see Scooby Doo at Carowinds (an amusement part in Charlotte, NC):

"There is a serious tendency toward capitalism among the well-to-do peasants."