Top Ten Comic Strips from the Sunday Roanoke Times: Hooray for Agnes

Greetings to our blog readers in Sweden, South Africa, and Cyprus......

It's perhaps fitting that this week's Sunday comic strip "Pearls Before Swine" which features its Goat character in the lime light (well in a dim limelight) is the top finisher in our weekly survey of Sunday comic strips from "The Roanoke Times" as there are some cool pygmy goats from Cameroon at the Mill Mountain Zoo in Roanoke, Va.

For those who have never traveled to Roanoke, it is a city of 100,000 people which is an hour north of Martinsville, Va., home of the Rev. Johnny Robertson who is rumored to have the most over-the-top Southern Baptist church in the world, well at least in Henry County.

Our third-place finisher is "Agnes," which is why we have an image of the late Agnes Moorehead who played the mother in the late 1960s sitcom "Bewitched."

Fifth place goes to Get Fuzzy, which has some knock knock jokes, so we went with an image of Mormons.

Liberal comedian Bill Maher is actually coming to Roanoke on Friday for the first time, we hope he really socks it to Donald Trump, who was brilliantly lampooned in today's (Monday) "Zippy the Pinhead."

Here is the list:

1. Pearls Before Swine

2. Speed Bump

3. Agnes

4. Dilbert

5. Get Fuzzy

6. Doonesbury

7. Funky Winkerbean

8. Garfield

9. Zits

10. Jump Start

http://www.mmzoo.org/

http://www.visitroanokeva.com/things-to-do/

http://www.visitmartinsville.com/

Our 10 Favorite Comic Strips from The Martinsville Bulletin: Witches' Brew

Greetings to our blog readers in Poland, Serbia, and Italy.......

This week, for the very first time we are featuring a survey of comic strips from "The Martinsville Bulletin" in Martinsville, Va; the small city best known for its NASCAR speedway is about half-way between Roanoke, Va., and Greensboro, NC. It is also the city where a small-time over-the-top evangelist the Rev. Johnny Robertson, whom we frequently make of, is head-quartered. We believe he has claimed that only the people who attend his church can go to heaven. Ok........

The winner of the survey is "Rhymes with Orange" which features two witches arguing over how to cook a prince in their witch stew, "Garfield" finishes second with John asking the world's only 37-year-old cat to help him with some needed home improvements, and "Dilbert" comes in third with Dilbert arguing with his boss over work place strategy to resolve problems, which seems to be a recurring theme in the office place set strip.

We also have "Snuffy Smith," now drawn and written by John Rose of Harrisonburg, Va., in which pop culture catches up with the century-old strip as the dialogue is about zombies and "The Walking Dead." And, for the very first time in our history of surveys, "Hagar the Horrible" cracks the top ten with a gag about lottery winnings. Helda, Hagar's wife since the strip was first released in 1971 (we believe) was not in the Sunday strip.

Note: Wendy the Witch, a Harvey Comics character was our first choice of images for a witch, but we had to settle with one from "Bewitched," a popular sitcom in the 1960s.

Here are our top ten strips from the Bulletin:


1) Rhymes with Orange

2) Garfield

3) Dilbert

4) Snuffy Smith

5) Zits

6) The Lockhorns

7) Mutts

8) Hi and Lois

9) Funky Winkerbean

10) Hagar the Horrible

http://www.visitmartinsville.com

http://www.martinsvillebulletin.com/

Top Sunday Comic Strips from the Roanoke Times: The Satan Gag Works!

Greetings to our blog readers in Wales, Estonia and Thailand.

Today, we once again look at our favorite Sunday comic strips, and this week, we focus on the comic strips found in Sunday, Sept. 21st edition of "The Roanoke Times," the daily newspaper for Roanoke, Va. The Sunday strips include strips aimed mostly at children ("Garfield," "Family Circus"), adults ("Dilbert" and "For Better or For Worse") and people who are 112 years old and living in a nursing home in Christiansburg, Va. ("Hi and Lois" and "Pickles").

We imagine "Pearls of Swine" may have received the wrath from Rev. Johnny Robertson from Martinsville, Va., which is just barely in the Roanoke newspaper's circulation area in which a woman who is dressed like the devil convinces the devil character rat to engage in mischief. "Pearls" is our strip of the week. (Yes, it is the reason for our poster from "The Devil," an amusing Turkish remake of "The Exorcist," no Linda Blair in the remake though).

Other strips in our top five include "Speed Bump" which has a take on what it would be like to be Icarus (center image) and visit a tanning salon, "Doonesbury" which has an American 'helping out' against radicals in the island national nation of The Maldives, and "Funky Winkerbean" which takes on a high school stage production of "Macbeth," aka 'The Scottish play.' Since, Criterion Classics announced it was releasing the vintage Roman Polanski film version of the Shaekespeare play, we though we'd include a poster from the film here.

Here is the top ten:

1) Pearls Before Swine

2) Speed Bump

3) Doonesbury

4) Funky Winkerbean

5) Non-Sequitur

6) Zits

7) Agnes

8) Get Fuzzy

9) Dilbert

10) Mutts

http://www.roanoke.com

http://www.criterion.com

http://www.funkywinkerbean.com

http://www.doonesbury.com

For our look at Sunday comics from "The Washington Post," be sure to visit our sister blog "The Daily Vampire" at: http://www.nocturnalguy38.blogspot.com

Presidential Quotes (15 of 16): Jimmy Carter

Yes, we would probably get more hits by arbitrarily mentioning Phil Robertson of "Duck Dynasty," who is apparently not related to the televangelist Pat Robertson or the fringe minister Johnny Robertson, from Martinsville, Va.

But, we are sticking with our game plan and quoting former Democratic president Jimmy Carter, whose term lasted from 1977 to 1981; Carter was also the governor of Georgia before becoming president.

He is the only president we've quoted so far in this series who is still alive, and he is the second oldest president behind George H.W. Bush:

"You can do what you have to do, and sometimes you can do it better than you think you can."

http://www.cartercenter.org

http://www.jimmycarterlibrary.org

Strange Dreams Indeed: Evangelist Tried to Get Me to Drink the Orangina

A few nights back, I dreamed that the Rev. Johnny Robertson of Martinsville, Va., who looks fairly similar to the Rev. Robert Tilton, (pictured here) one of America's most infamous tv evangelist (Robertson_ no relation to Pat Robertson_ is also a tv evangelist, but on a smaller scale), tried to get give me a free three-foot bottle of Orangina if I would accept Jesus Christ as my lord and savior.

The scene of the dream was a Food Lion grocery store in Eden, NC, just over the border from Martinsville, where I'm virtually certain that they don't sell Orangina!

http://www.orangina.com

The Return of Friday Night Tweets: Bad Night to Deliver Pizzas in Raleigh, NC

The three images above are of: 1) Soap actress Nadia Bjorlin of "Days of Our Lives" fame (she is apparently not on the show right now, but she has come back twice); 2) Police officers in Troy, Montana, and 3) Local televangelists from Reidsville, NC, we are actually using their image to go with a tweet about Kansas. We do have to thank friend and fellow blogger Chris Knight as he used the image of the Men in Grey on his blog initially. We believe this two tv preachers are associated with the very radical Rev. Johnny Robertson from Martinsville, Va.

Let's go:

1) Nadia Bjorlin @RealNadiaB: "Happy Friday! First day off summer and I'm off to Vegas!"

2) Raleigh News @RaleighNews: "Two pizza delivery drivers robbed minutes apart in Raleigh."

3) The Denver Post @Denverpost: "Ironman triathlon coming to Boulder in August 2014."

4) Wall Street Journal @WSJ: "Montana is the first state to require police get a warrant before tracking a suspect through a cell phone."

5) The Seattle Times @seattletimes: "Got big plans this weekend? Beware of traffic impact
from Saturday's Rock 'N' Roll Marathon"

6) Rolling Stone @rollingstone: "Gun nuts, anti-abortion zealots and free-market cultists are leading Kansas toward disaster."

7) ABC 11 WTVD in Raleigh, NC @ABC11-WTVD: "Report: 2 cannons raised from Blackbeard's ship."

http://www.nadia-bjorlin.com

http://www.visitmt.com

http://www.visittopeka.us

http://www.theknightshift.blogspot.com

Last Ten Films We've Seen- Cosmopolis Rules

 

 

 

Well, folks about 113 things went wrong as we were posting this; here are some notes on the images:

 

 

1. The dolphin for "The Day of the Dolphin"

 

2. The lizards from the Belgrade Zoo in Serbia are because Iranian filmmaker Jafar Panahi who is under house arrest in Iran develops a close relationship with a pet lizard since he can not legally leave is apartment.

 

3. The fringe preachers from Reidsville, NC, who may well be affilated with the radical Rev. Johnny Robertson from Martinsville, Va., which is close to Reidsville, are in refernece to "Elmer Gantry," a film about a revival ministers with a questionable background. This image comes from my friend's Chris Knight's blog (see link below)...

 

Here are the films:

 

1. "Holy Motors" (France. dir-Leos Carax. 2012)

 

2. "Cosmopolis" (Canada. dir-David Cronenberg. 2012)

 

3. "Elmer Gantry" (dir-Richard Brooks. 1960)

 

4. "The Day of the Dolphin" (dir- Mike Nichols. 1973)

 

5.  "This Is Not a Film" (Iran. dir-Jafar Panahi, 2011)

 

6. "Spring Breakers" (dir-Harmony Korine. 2012.)

 

7. "Alfie" (dir-Lewis Gilbert. 1966)

 

8 "The Company You Keep" (dir. Robert Redford, 2012)

 

9. "Wake in Fright" (dir. Ted Kotceff. 1971)

 

10. "The Brass Teapot" (dir. Ramaa Mosley. 2012)

 

http://theknightshift.blogspot.com/

Saturday is Free Comic Book Day

Saturday is Free Comic Book Day in America, and perhaps in other parts of the world as well. We recently came across some Swedish Donald Duck comic books where the famed Walt Disney fowl is known as "Kalle Anka"(pictured center) and he is apparently extremely popular in Stockholm.

We also have some Donald Duck comics in Turkish where he is know as "Donald Amca" (pronounced Ahmcha, Donald Amca actually means Uncle Donald_ the Turkish word for duck is ordek).

Comic book stores, large and small, are participating in the event. At Acme Comics in Greensboro, NC, Thomas Boatwright ("Cemetery Blues") will be signing autographs as will Amanda Rachels "Clown Town the Book") and Chrissie Zullo ("Fables: Cinderella, Womantohology), among many others.

Other stores celebrating the occasion including Carol and John's Comic Book Shop in Cleveland, Ohio, which is the home of our favorite comic character Howard the Duck, Atlas Comic Books in Charlottesville, Va., and very popular Jay and Silent Bob's Comics in Red Bank, NJ (the store was started by filmmaker Kevin Smith of "Clerks" fame).

SIDEBAR: Since tomorrow is National Prayer Day in America and we love to make fun of radical preachers like the Rev. Johnny Robertson in Martinsville, Va., who has probably condemned thousands of people to burn in hell (we can't actually verify this officially), we thought we'd show irony and quote Jesus Christ, a person we respect even though we are human secularists here:

"If you want to be perfect, go sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven."


http://www.freecomicbookday.com

http://www.cnjcomics.com

http://www.jayandsilentbob.com

http://www.atlascomicbooks.com

http://www.acmecomics.com

Friday Night Tweets: Terror Suspect and Major Rainstorms

We have tweets. We have tweets. Did we say: "We have tweets."

Let's explain the images real quickly: 1) the famed Paul Revere statue in Boston; 2) a Boston Red Sox umbrella; 3) a bear sloth cub which might well look like the one at the National Zoo in Washington, DC, that we will be mentioning.

Here we go; of course, the emphasis here is on today's developments in the now successful effort to apprehend Boston Marathon bomber suspect Dzohkar Tsarnaev:

1. The Fix @TheFix ("Washington Post" reporter Chris Cilliza): "People trying to make jokes on this standoff. Just quit it."

2. Anderson Cooper 360 @AC360: "@BrianToddCNN says there are floodlights on the boat, police are yelling at suspect in #watertown."

3. WBEZ @WBEZ (NPR station in Chicago): "Update: Shots fired in Mass. as police seek second bomb suspect."

4. National Review @NRO ("National Review" is a conservative American journal; we usually disagree with them): "BREAKING: Dead suspect spent 6 months abroad last year, flew from JFK to Russia. Unclear what he did during trip."

5. Muslim Matters @MuslimMatters: "American-Muslim communities pls touch base with your local police depts and request extra patrols and a physical security assessment."

6. HuffPost Celebrity @HuffPostCeleb: "Boston attack survivor Jeff Bauman gets a star-studded visit at the hospital."

7. Chapel Hill Magazine @ChapelHillMag: "Good luck to everyone running the @Tarheel10Miler tomorrow morning!"

8. geneweingarten @geneweingarten: "Are there any Jews involved in this things? If so, I am so embarrassed."

9. Katrina vanden Heuvel @KatrinaNation: "Dzhokar Tsranev in custody, alive."

10. National Zoo @NationalZoo: "At 4 mos old, our sloth bear cub is quick and enthusiastic when it  comes to training."

11. @The Kansan: "Suspect in custody! Great police work!!"

12. Mayor Tom Menino @mayortommenino (the mayor of Boston): "We got him."

13. Tom Tomorrow @tomtomorrow: "Everyone in Boston: take a deep breath. Have a drink. Have two."

14. Jesus Christ @jesus: "Over and out." (We wonder if he's hanging out with the fringe preacher the Rev. Johnny Roberston in Martinsville, Va.)

http://www.thismodernworld.com

http://www.washington.org

http://www.vistimartinsville.com

http://www.visitchapelhill.org

Silly Image to Fill Space- Apathy

I was all set to write a follow-up from yesterday's entry about college gymnastics, but I am simply overwhelmed with Apathy. Maybe, it's because of the weather or perhaps it is because I'm in the Bible belt and folks here take Easter a bit too seriously, especially someone like the Rev. Johnny Robertson from Martinsville, Va.

Or, it perhaps because we are not getting as many hits from small European countries like Malta, Latvia and Slovenia, as we had been getting.

But, forwhateverreason, this is the mood I am in.

However, stay tuned kids. We are making a very big announcement tomorrow.

PS- We do want to take time to wish our good friend Chris Kinght, I am referring to the blogger who ran for a Rockingham County, NC, school board seat, with a lavish Star Wars-themed commercial, not the child actor of the same name from "The Brady Bunch."

10 People Who Will Decide Election (7 of 10) A Comedian in Portland, Oregon

Well, since WGSR-TV (Star News, Reidsville, NC) seems to think showing objectivity is so yesterday, we hear at "Politics, Culture and Other Wastes of Time" are definitely worried about whose feathers we might ruffle (forgive the reference from Big Bird's comments on "Saturday Night Live"), but then again, we have never pretended to be an objective news source. And, if we owned a tv-station we can assure you that we would never air a show hosted by the very radical Rev. Johnny Robertson of Martinsville, Va.

So, as it turns out, 'Politico' has shown a tilt towards (yikes, yikes, no, no, no!) Mitt Romney. The last objective news source outside of Fox News and Radio Havana, Cuba, shows Romney slightly winning Florida, which has 29 electoral votes over President Barack Obama. Similarly, Romney, who once proclaimed to be even more pro-gay rights than the late Sen. Ted Kennedy, is winning in North Carolina by a 48-4-47.6%, which means Star News thinks that Romney will get 79-percent of the vote in the Tarheel State.

Today, we are focusing on Oregon, which we thought might be a swing state, but now only Star News would predict that Romney has a chance over Obama as 'Politico' is indicating that the president is winning 50-42 percent there.

So, we are focusing on a fictional stand-up comedian in Portland, Ore., who happens to look a lot like Robin Williams. We will call him Mort Schultz, and we will say he is 31 years old and will vote for Obama.

For those looking for actual stand-up comedy in Portland, Ore., we understand that Helium Comedy is quite the place to go!

And, for those who support Big Bird and PBS, which apparently Romney sees as some kind of heavy burden on American tax-payers, who want information that is actually impartial, the public tv-station serving all of North Carolina is WUNC-TV. We have no idea when "Sesame Street" airs on the channel as we don't have kids!


http://www.wgsr47.com

http://www.sesamestreet.org

http://www.unctv.org

http://www.heliumcomedy.com

http://www.politco.com

We are Postponing Our Scheduled Entry, but.....

....In the meantime, we are going to recommend that you read Gunter Grass' classic German novel "The Tin Drum" over the weekend. The 1959 novel was made into a vintage 1978 German film that was banned in Oklahoma!

One might be able to find the novel at Malaprop's Bookstore in Asheville, NC. Should they NOT have it, you can ask for "Slaughterhouse Five" by Kurt Vonnegut Jr., instead of blaming us!

By the way, we are planning on posting an entry dedicated to the 10 Craziest People in America. The Rev. Terry Jones of Gainesville, Fla., who is apparently hoping to start World War III, and the Rev. Johnny Robertson of Martinsville, Va., who probably disdains Muslims, gays and people who don't go to his church just as much, are likely to make the cut!

No April Fools Joke This Year

We are postponing our annual prank for a variety of reasons, perhaps the main one being that everyone, even my naiive as a missionary working with cannibals in the Amazon River basin of Brazil friend Sal Jackovich* in Scranton, Pa., gets the gag.

Normally, we have said that we were going on a sky-diving trip at either Carolina Skydiving in Jonesville, NC (near Winston-Salem) or Sky Dive Orange in Orange, Va (near Charlottesville).

However, my friend Chris Knight from Reidsville, NC, normally has great gags on his blog (www.theknightshift.blogspot.com). The April Fools Joke in which he said the radical Rev. Johnny Robertson of Martinsville, Va.** had attacked the Pope in Vatican City remains one of the best cyber-pranks I've ever seen. Knight said that reportedly even the FBI called him to ask where he got 'the information.'

*- Not a real person, but I do have a friend like Sal though he does not reside in Scranton, Pa.

**-Yes, he is a real person and he does fit the stereotype of an over-the-top Southern preacher.

PS_ The answer to our road trip question last week was A, as Lexington, Ky., and Columbus, Ohio, are just over three hours away from each other.

Quote of the Week- Friedrich Nietzsche

Today's Quote of the Week continues with yet another quip from a famous philosopher; this one being the German thinker Friedrich Nietzsche (god, his last name is hard to spell!, and I should talk).

We dedicate this entry to our friend Chris Knight of Reidsville, NC, as he and I appear to be the only two people in the world who are still blogging after all these years! In one entry on his blog (http://theknightshift.blogspot.com) Knight talks about a church that is very hard to get to in the former Soviet republic of Georgia, which was where Joseph Stalin was from.

As for Nietzche, he was a major influence on postmodernism, and he was known for using metaphors and irony. His key ideas including the notion that "God was dead" and the will to power. The German philosopher was also a contemporary of the composer Richard Wagner, according to the 1990 graphic novel "Nietzche for Beginners" which we found at The International Bookstore in Chapel Hill, NC, a few weeks ago. (The establishment is hosting a Political Prisoner Letter Writing Night, which is probably not something that the fringe, ultra-conservative preacher the Rev. Johnny Robertson of Martinsville, Va., will be doing with his folks this week).

Niettzche was also known for what would not now be deemed politically incorrect views on religion (well, of course!), love, and women in general. So, I expect that even this tamer quote by him may not go over well in Eden, NC:

"A subject for a great poet would be God's boredom after the seventh day of creation."

MONDAY LEFTOVERS: We wanted to update the blogging public on the status of the University of Cal-Santa Barbara's women's water polo team. The Gauchos were not able to win their game vs. Loyola, which they lost 8-3. But, later in the day, they played a school named Occidental (yes, we've never heard of them either) and beat them 8-5. Kristin Kulakowski scored two goals in that victory.

The UCSB men's basketball team made the NCAA tournament and as a 15-seed they will face the Florida Gators (#2-seed) in a game that will be played on Thursday in Tampa, which is quite close to the Gators' campus!

Interestingly enough, the Gauchos' women's water polo team will next face Bucknell, a smart school in Lewisburg, Pa., for a home game on March 19. Bucknell's men's basketball team also made the NCAAs as a 14-seed; they will face the U-Conn. Huskies in Washington, DC, on Thursday as well.

Though the Gators are my favorite school in the SEC, I may have to root for the Gauchos on Thursday as my cousin's daughter attends that school in Santa Barbie.

There is a great quiz on mentalfloss.com asking the quiz-taker if they know which state a given school is located. Though I have stumbled on many "Mental Floss" quizzes before, I got all 11 questions right today!

PSA- Stop Homophobia

For our PSA entry today, we focus on stoping homophobia which folks like the Rev. Johnny Robertson of Martinsville, Va., allegedly (well, this is close to a safe assumption) believe in strongly for 'the Bible tells 'em so.'

We learned while researching this piece that there is an International Stop Homophobia Day on May 17 of each year, and it is apparently popular in Canada and Sweden.

As for the silly rumor that "Sesame Street" characters Bert and Ernie are/were gay, it actually started with another radical minister, but one who has more clout and a stronger following that the Rev. Johnny R, who we love to refer to as "The Jim Jones of Henry County" (and, I think my friend Chris Knight might well agree with me there)---the Rev. Joseph Chambers, a televangelist in Charlotte, NC.

Chambers has also allegedly stated that another PBS children's star Barney the Dinosaur is a tool of Satan who spreads his left-wing agenda to children all across the world (are you serious?!).

SIDEBAR: Today we learned on Twitter that the 2011 University of Minnesota's women's gymnastics team will feature 15 gymnasts from eight states and three countries, including Mexican gymnast Ana Balboa. The team's first home meet is on Jan. 16 against Iowa.

According to DailyHurriyet.com, '80s fossil singer/actress Grace Jones has surfaced in Istanbul,Turkey- of all places, where she will perfom in concert tomorrow night (July 16).

Lastly, MalcolmtheMayor had this great Tweet which I can fully sympathize with:
"I need a Vacation ASAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Canada or Thailand......help me pick!

Kudos to Fellow Blogger Chris Knight on Passing One Million Hits

Chris Knight of Reidsville, NC, achieved a loyal cult following in 2006 when he ran for Rockingham County School Board because of his radical Star-Wars themed ad which got shown on VH-1, and E! as well as the now defunct "The Jay Leno Show."

Knight now has his own Wikipedia entry, which is more extensive than several Olympic American gold medalists, and a blog (http://www.theknightshift.blogspot.com) which just surpassed the one million hit mark last week.

I must profess that a part of me admires my fellow North Carolina resident for reaching this milestone, but I actually enjoy being 'under the radar.' Especially, since I expected some sort of condemnation for jokes I made about the likes of Clarence Thomas, Dick Cheney, Sarah Palin and Pat Robertson, but I never got any though once I did get some flack from a man who may have been Cheney himself?! (And, since he's recovering from a recent heart attack, he may be glancing at this page yet again........well, we actually hope that's NOT the case).

Knight and I have political differences. He is a Libertarian who usually votes for third party candidates in national elections. While I have voted for every Democratic candidate for president since 1988 when I turned 18, and that included Michael Dukakis, which did not go over well with my Turkish relatives!

I also believe global warming is a real problem though I realize Al Gore is perhaps not the best delivery man for this serious situation because he is a partisan figure, but Knight basically thinks it's all a hoax (from what I gather).

Knight is also a devout follower of the cult ABC series "Lost," which I've only watched twice.

But, in spite of these nuanced differences, I really love his blog especially a recent entry on how a statue of Andy Griffith in Mount Airy, NC, was defaced by vandals?! And, he is always up on the latest video gizmos and science fiction films as well as some unique and strange stories that few of us seem to discover. And, there is his feud with the Rev. Johnny Robertson of Martinsville, Va., who is pretty much the Jim Jones of southside Virginia (you can quote me on that!).

So, we congratulate Knight and I expect he will be getting his 2,000,000th in the very near future or at least before that crazy preacher in Martinsville's prediction for Doomsday?!