Top Ten Sunday Comic Strips from the Sunday News and Record (Greensboro, NC): Foxtrot Takes Gold

Greetings to our blog readers in Macedonia, Kenya, and Dubai....

This week we take a look at the top ten comic strips from the Sunday edition of "The News and Record," a daily newspaper in Greensboro, NC, which is not to be mixed up with a weekly newspaper of the same name in South Boston, Va., a town which is noted for having artistic fire hydrants. A similar project was performed in Lewisburg, WVa.

There were no fire hydrant jokes in the ten comic strips which made our cut, but "Foxtrot," our first place finisher, focused on everything that could go wrong on a family picnic, including the dreaded poison ivy (pictured top) as well as ants........oh actually Javier the Intern has informed us that the strip featured ticks not ants. Let's move on.....

The Danish import "WuMo," featured a crazy elephant trying to tip over a Coca Cola truck to the confused befuddlement of his fellow elephants at a gas station, perhaps in an Interstate town like Augusta, Georgia.

And, speaking of Augusta, we conclude with "Ziggy," which week showed the title character having a miserable day at the golf course, which is why we have an image of golf legend Arnold Palmer in our third slot! An alcoholic beverage that we've never had is named after him as well....

Here is the list:

1. Foxtrot

2. WuMo

3. Pearls Before Swine

4. Brewster Rockit: Space Guy

5. Over the Hedge

6. Ziggy

7. Phoebe and Her Unicorn

8. Dilbert

9. Judge Parker

10. Doonesbury

http://www.gocomics.com/foxtrot

http://www.gocomics.com/wumo

http://www.gocomics.com/ziggy

http://www.arnoldpalmer.com

Last Ten Songs We've Heard on Steve-FM (Columbia, SC): So That's What Bruno Mars Sounds Like.....

Greetings to our blog readers in Germany, India and Peru......

Yesterday, we actually had a hit from the Afican nation of Malawi!

We also want to send a special morning greeting to those of you checking us out from San Diego, Calif., where is now 8: 48 a.m. (does anyone actually work in southern Cali?)

Normally, we looked at the last ten songs played on Steve-FM in Roanoke, Va., but as it turns out there is also a Stev-FM in Columbia, SC! They are both owned by the national communications conglomerate I Heart Radio, but they do not play the same songs at the same time (Javier the Intern verified this for us!).........

Today also happens to be World Radio Day.........

One of the songs which grabbed our attention in this playlist was "Black Velvet" by Canadian Alannah Myles, a smash hit back in 1989! We haven't heard it much in recent years. Myles never had another major hit here in the United States, but she still apparently maintains a loyal following up north.

Another import "Listen to Your Heart" from Roxette, a Swedish musical group, made the playlist, but no songs form Turkish pop star Tarkan, who once tried to record songs in English!

As the title of our entry suggests, we aren't exactly sure what Bruno Mars songs sound like, but we are trying to get hip to it.....

Here are ten songs (in reverse order) we heard from 3:00-4:00 p.m. on Steve-FM in Columbia, SC, on Tuesday:

1) Roxette. "Listen to Your Heart. Roxette. 1989.

2) Pat Benatar. "Heartbreaker." 1979

3) Prince. "Little Red Corvette." 1983

4) Lady Gaga. "Bad Romance." 2009

5) Taylor Swift. "Ours." 2011

6) Steve Perry. "Oh Sherrie." 1984

7) Todd Rundgren. (pict. top) "Bang on the Drum All Day." 1983

8) Alannah Myles. "Black Velvet." 1989.

9) Bruno Mars. (pict,. center)"When I Was Your Man. 2013.

10)  Cyndi Lauper. (pict. bottom) "Time After Time." 1984

http://www.cyndilauper.com

http://www.967fm.com

http://www.worldradioday.org

Eid Mubarak/Happy Ramadan from Karagoz and Hacivat

Our shadow puppet friends from Bursa, Turkey, wish each and every one of you in Provo, Utah, a Happy Ramadan............

Yes, we do have an offbeat sense of humor (for those of you in Dubai who might not get the joke, Utah is a state with many Mormons and presumably very few Muslims). But, our ever diligent Javier the Intern reports there is in fact a Salt Lake City Muslim group!

http://www.utahmuslims.com/

http://www.mormon.org

http://www.goturkey.com

PS: We just found out that our blog has two hits from Cuba! To our knowledge, this is the first time, we've had hits from there.....

Free From Blog Entry: All That Jazz

This is new idea we have come up with, if it doesn't work, we'll blame Javier the Intern. We take six phrases and try to make a flash fiction piece with it.

The phrases are pregnant women, jazz (Dizzy Gillespie, picture top), cuckoo clocks, cold pizza, Angry Birds, Air Canada

Here we go:

"Little Marvin was playing Angry Birds on his hand-held device while waiting for the Air Canada flight from Toronto to Montreal when his father told him that he should eat the rest of his personal pan pizza from an airport Pizzaa Hut kiosk as it would surely go cold. Marvin ignored his father, which was in his DNA.

Marvin's father decided not to argue with him and listen to jazz on his I-Pod. He had tried to educate this son about jazz: Miles Davis, Herbie Hancock, Kenny G, ok, the later was a mistake. Marvin's father then noticed a pregnant young woman without a boyfriend, fiance or husband. She was actually reading a book. Even though it was a fluffy romance novel, Marvin's father was impressed.

Suddenly, the cuckoo clock in Marvin's father's head went off. There were now only 20 minutes until the flight was scheduled to depart. But, there appeared to be a long delay. Marvin's father then noticed a dark-skinned woman, perhaps from Syria or Egypt, wearing a hijab, now sitting beside the pregnant woman. Marvin's father's mind then drifted towards impure thoughts, and then he heard it was time to board the flight. He gently tapped Marvin's shoulders, but, of course, his son was going to play Angry Birds until the proverbial last minute possible."

http://www.aircanada.com

http://www.kennyg.com

Blogging in 60 Seconds or Less_ the Turkish Word for Octopus is.........

ahtapot........

Javier the Intern (a fictional person) is working diligently for a series of more substantial blog entries this week.

Stay tuned..........hope all is well in El Salvador, Latvia, Malaysia or wherever else you are visiting us from!

Birth Places of Star Trek People: Kirstie Alley, et al

Actress Kirstie Alley who played Saavik in two early film versions of "Star Trek" is among the Star Trek people we are mentioning here; all the credit for this idea goes to our very own Javier the Intern*  who stood in line for four hours to see the 45th film in the series. We gather he is gearing up to see the latest film for a second, and perhaps even a third time.

Here is our list of Star Trek people and the places where they were born:

1. Kirstie Alley (pictured above): Wichita, Kansas

2. J.J. Abrams: New York, NY, (he is the director of the last two films)

3. Robert Wise#: Winchester, Ind. (the director of the very first film)

4. Chris Pine: Los Angeles, Calif. (the newest Captain Kirk)

5. DeForest Kelley#: Atlanta, Ga.

6. Walter Koenig: Chicago, Ill.

7. James Doohan#: Vancouver, Canada

8. Gene Roddenberry#: El Paso, Tex.

9. Zachary Quinto: Pittsburgh, Pa. (he is the new Mr. Spock)

10. Jason Sudeikis- Fairfax, Va. (he plays Cptn. Kirk in a commercial spoof)

11. Will Wheaton: Burbank, Calif.

12. Zoe Saldana: Passaic, NJ

*-Javier the Intern is a fictional person

#- Individuals who are deceased
http://www.startrek.com

Virtual Postcard from Illinois- The Sears/Willis Tower

I'm not actually in Chicago, but since Illinois is one of the 8 states we've been through on this mammouth roadtrip, we thought we'd send you 'a virtual postcard from there.'

Apparently, the Sears Tower is now called the Willis Tower; I guess I should thank the kids working at Google's regional office in Boulder, Colo. (yes, that place does exist) or Javier the Intern, which is a long-running gag on my two blogs.

http://www.theskydeck.com

http://www.willistower.com

The Funny Pages Dialogue_ That's No Problem, Helga

Keith Knight is a brilliant cartoonist and journalist, and someone I greatly admire. That is made especially true because I can't even draw stick people! His comic strip "Knight Life" runs in the Sunday Washington Post. We did not get a chance to use a line from his comic strip this time, but we do have lines from many of the other strips that were in the most recent edition of the Sunday Post.

We have noticed that comic strips tend to use a lot of exclamation points!!!!

By the way, we must give credit to Javier the Intern for compiling this (a running in-joke on this blog, Javier is a fictional character); the aim here is to compile in a way that makes for one silly conversation.

Here we go:

"You're not getting any better at this are you" (from "Sherman's Lagoon")

"What kind of animal did you draw?" (from "Frazz")

"That's the problem, Helga!" (from "Hagar the Horrible")

"Hey, I told you to go with the "Dcotor Who" scripts." (from "Foxtrot," an image of Dr. Who is in the center).

"Honey, are you ok? What's going on?!" (from Blondie, we thought Dagwood was the one who likes to sit on the couch, but that distinction belongs to another old-time comic strip "Andy Capp")

"You did not just write that to me in an email." (from "Reply All," one of Javier's favorite comic strips)

"All I have to do is make a few phone calls!" (from "Judge Parker")

"I can afford to lost one crummy quarter!" (from "The Amazing Spiderman")

"I'll go scare that kid dressed as a space skunk!" (from "Brewster Rockit")

""Excuse me, but wasn't the Halloween section over there?" (from "Dennis the Menace, a comic strip character that is known in Turkish as "Bacaksiz"_ the kid without legs)


SIDEBAR: You wanna impress your hot girlfriend who looks as gorgeous as Kim Kardashian? Well, then you should go the web site for Mr. Porter where you can find unicorn-stamped sweater (pictured) which retails for $725. It must be true because we read it the Sunday Post.

And, for those of you who are into fashion (I'm just a novice myself), then you should check out "All on the Line," with Joey Zee; new episodes air on the Sundance Channel every Monday night at 9:00 p.m. Reruns of the series will be airing this evening (east coast time).

Comic strip links:

http://www.slagoon.com

http://www.kchronicles.com

http://www.foxtrot.com

http://www.replyallcomics.com

http://www.tundracomics.com

http://www.funkywinkerbean.com

Fashion links:

http://www.ustopshop.com

http://www.dapperlow.com

http://www.theurbanagent.com

http://www.guysstyleguide.com

http://www.mrporter.com

http://www.sundancechannel.com/all-on-the-line/

Quote of the Day/Week- Chilean Filmmaker Alejandro Jodorowsky

Hmmmm.....yeah, we kind of messed up on this a few days ago when we were posting an entry with a quote on Fidel Castro that ended up on our other blog "The Daily Vampire." For that incident and many others, we made an editorial decision to fire Javier the Intern. But, we quickly realized no one could replace him, so we hired Javier the Intern* back.

Today, we are quoting the Chilean experimental filmmaker Alejandro Jodorowsky (b. 1929) who is best known for midnight movie masterpiece "El Topo" (1970), which many musicians, including the late John Lennon and Peter Gabriel took a serious liking to.

Here is his quote, which we will credit to Javier:

"One day, someone showed me a glass of water that was half full. And, he said, 'is it half full or half empty?,' so I drank the water. No more problems."

*-There is no real Javier the Intern; it is a running gag on my two blogs.

Things We Learned on Google Today- IFK Goteborg Lost to Another Swedish Soccer Team

NOTE: Normally, in this slot, we have our series dedicated to the 15 former republics of the Soviet Union. But, we thought it would be keen and neat to switch the entries around today with our other blog "The Daily Vampire"..........ok, we did sort of mess up and hence Javier the Intern has once again been fired.


Steven Levy, a writer for "Wired" magazine, has a new book called "In the Plex" which is about how Google shapes our minds and the ways we think. All of which has made me think that perhaps we should change the name of this series to "Things We Learned on Bing Today."

At any rate, we had high hopes that our feature soccer team of the week, IFK Goteborg, a Swedish powerhouse which has won 18 national championship titles, five national cup titles and two UEFA cups, would come through for us as they face Mjallby AIF, a Swedish soccer team in the southern Swedish fishing town of Mjallo, but alas they choked. Hence, the final result was Mjallby AIF 1 IFK Goteborg 0. The winning goal was scored by David Lofquist, 25, for Mjallby.

But, there are supposedly some good players for IFK Goeborg, including Stefan Sleakovic, 34, a Swedish national player who has been a star for the team, and IFK's captain Adam Johansson, 28, a fellow Swede.

Goteborg or Gothenburg is Sweden's second largest city as it ranks between Stockholm and Malmo.

SIDEBAR: In the "Gosh, We Didn't Get To It" department, we were hoping to rib Cong. Morgan Griffith (R-Va.) as he is ironically a good friend to me personally, though I'm not sure if he shares that opinion of my blog. He is from my hometown of Salem, Va., and he represents the ninth district of Virginia from western Salem to Bristol, Va.

Apparently, Griffith, who should not be confused with an attractive young woman from Georgia on Twitter who shares his name (yes, this is actually true), addressed the need for deregulation so southwest Virginia could get more jobs in response to President Barack Obama's speech, yesterday.

We were going to say these minimum-wage jobs might well pollute the air and water, and they would be probably be shipped out to El Slavador or China so some Cuban cigar-chomping mine boss could cut living wages, but out of respect for Griffith and our time contraints, we are going to avoid making such a satiric claim which could easily be misinterpreted.

And, to actually be fair and balanced, we should add that we have yet to read what Cong. Griffith actually had to say as of 5:00 p.m., New Haven, Conn., time.

PS: The country we are featuring today in our series which will be on "The Daily Vampire" wil be Lithuania. If it wasn't obvious, Javier the Intern does not really exist!

Special Quote of the Week- Ayn Rand

Yes, since we love being ironic here, we thought we'd quote Ayn Rand just 48 hours after we quoted Che Guevara. One is a libertarian, far-right icon and the other is a socialist, far-left icon. Guess which one is which?

Even though the Russian-American author Rand (1905-1982) has been dead for almost 30 years,(she ironically died the same year that Warren Beatty won an Oscar for director for his 1981 film "Reds;" it was about the American left-wing figure John Reed who made Rand's journey in reverse), due to the emergence of Tea Party lunatics and the filmazation of her 1957 novel "Atlas Shrugged," she is making waves again. Wow, that last sentence was way too long alas Javier the Intern, who does all the editing for us is having lunch with his frat brothers at Burger King. (Ok, this is a no joke, there is no Javier, but I could use a personal assistant!).

The movie version of "Atlas Shrugged" has a 6.1 user average on the Internet Movie Database, and it is currently showing at the Grandin Theatre in Roanoke, Va., among other places.

Here is the quote from Rand:

"The creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others."

SIDEBAR_ Those who like Ayn Rand probably read "Reason" magazine as well. Along with "Weekly Standard," the publication happens to be one of the few conservative magazines ("Reason" is known for its libertarian perspectives) I don't despise. Ironically, an article from that magazine was republished in the left-leaning "Utne Reader."

According to reason.com and its perceived political bias, the government's 'war on speculators' won't lower gas prices. I guess those of us who are liberal can agree with conservatives than paying circa $50 at the tank is ludicrious. The only thing that has inflated as much in recent years has to be concert ticket prices. Why do some people shell out $60 for REO Speedwagon tickets? I saw them with Cheap Trick as a teenager in 1985 for like $17. I don't know....

Also, we wanted to share something about Osama bin Laden, who as everyone except maybe a Buddhist monk in a village in Bhutan, knows was killed over the weekend (there are of course conspiracy theories out there as insane as one that would suggest Joe Biden and him are hanging out Firebrick Pizza*; we assume Osama wouldn't want pork on his pizza or beer with his meal**).

That is his age; he was 57. For some reason, no one mentions this, not even the BBC! Interestingly enough, television viewers in America that year could watch the following shows, "Leave it to Beaver," "Maverick," "Perry Mason" and "The Howdy Doody Show."

*-Firebrick Pizza is real place in Washignton, DC

**- Yes, we know there is nothing funny about mass murder and terrorism, but we have to make fun of people who think he's still alive (?!), and of course as a Turkish-American (my late father was a Muslim), I can make subtle fun of certain aspects of Islamic life. Fortunately, very few are actually terrorists, but alas the few who are cause great, unjustified damage to the faith's followers. Hopefully, one day this will be corrected and I certainly hope that day comes sooner than later.

Quotes from The Composers- Pytor Ilyich Tchaikovsky

Today, as promised, we are featuring quotes from legendary Russian composers and today we quip Pytor Ilyich Tchaikovsky (1840-1893) who the Romanitc era composer who composed symphonies, operas and chamber music. But, he is arguably best known for his ballets, which include "The Nutcracker" and "Swan Lake."

Since "The Black Swan" is in cinemas now, and we FINALLY saw it last week (I was actually going to post an entry called The Curse of the Black Swan because every time I wanted to see the film something went wrong; it is definitely one of the best films from 2010), the image of an actual black swan seemed nifty. At least, it did to Javier the intern*. The image (according to Javier) is from Perth, Australia.

Natalie Portman also won a Golden Globe Award for her cinematic performance as a ballet dancer in "Black Swan." But, since we were not able to watch the broadcast (though I saw on Twitter that foul-mouthed comedian Sarah Silverman did!), we could not see if Portman was wearing her trademark vegan sandals.

But, getting back to Tchaikovsky, here is today's quote from the Russian master:

"Truly there would be more reason to go mad were it not for music."

SIDEBAR: As we have mentioned before, there is a sequel to the hit book "Stuff White People Like" based on the ever-popular blog of the same name (they get thousands more hits than we do even though there are only periodic entries?!). The new book by Christian Lander is called "Whiter Shades of Pale." He will be promoting it at Book Cellar in Chicago on Thursday.

According to the blog's last entry from December, these days white people seem to enjoy Christopher Guest films on dvd (like "Waiting for Guffman"), cd compilations of Bolivian music (he has me there!) and single-malt scotch.

*-Javier is a fictional person!

Quote from The Composers- Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Yes, we decided to use an image of the late '80s Austrian pop singer Falco (1957-1998), who alas like John Lennon and Lenny Bruce died when he was 40 (which is yikes my age!). Of course, all of us who grew up in the '80s or saw the movie "Adventureland" know that Falco (who was actually more like a two-hit wonder) was best known for the 1986 smash hit single "Rock Me Amadeus," which I think all of us got sick and tired of. But, today, much like the Swedish pop group Abba, it has grown on us like kudzu!

(If memory serves me right, Falco died in a car accident on some island near Jamaica. We need our Honduran intern Javier to verify that once he gets back from Chucky Cheese!).

As for the Austrian composer Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (1756-1791), who also died quite young, he is of course known as 'the genius of Salzburg' as he composed many musical classics, including the operas "The Magic Flute," "The Marriage of Figaro" and "The Shephard King"- to name a few.

And, more importantly, he was the subject of Milos Forman's 1985 Oscar-winning film "Amadeus" which is based on a play of the same name by Peter Shaffer.

Here is our quote from Mozart, which is one I sincerely agree with:

"I pay no attention to anybody's praise or blame. I simply follow my own feelings."

For classical music lovers in Roanoke, Va., the Roanoke Symphony will be giving a performance called "Movie Masterworks" on Jan. 24. More details are available at their web site (rso.com).

Top 10 Favorite Christmas Movies_ A Controversial Choice

Yes, we are choosing the eight-minute $700 short film "The Spirit of Christmas" from 1995 by Trey Parker and Matt Stone, two Colorado college students who went on to make "South Park" as our top choice.

The film is known for it is essentially a mock kung fu fight between Jesus and Santa Claus which is laced with profanity, and makes fun of former Olympic ice skater Brian Boitano.

But, this short film which I saw as part of "Spike and Mike's Sick and Twisted Animation Festival" at the Lyric Theatre in Blacksburg, Va., still stands out as one of the most hysterical things I've ever seen. Ironically, I haven't watched "South Park" hardly at all since it's second season. I am amazed it is somehow still on the air (we need to get Javier, our Honduran intern to fact-check that).

Here is our top ten; the rest of the films are full-length features:

1. "The Spirit of Christmas" (1995)

2. "A Christmas Story" (1983)

3. "National Lampoon's Christmas" (1989)

4. "Gremlins" (1984)_ A film I chose to show for my 40th birthday celebration earlier this year at the Grandin Theatre in Roanoke, Va. Many people forget that it takes place at Christmas time.

5. "Bad Santa" (2003)

6. "It's a Wonderful Life" (1946)_ A film which may be the only Christmas film they show in Tashkent, Uzbekistan

7. "The Muppet Christmas Carol" (1992)

8. "Scrooged" (1988)

9. "Miracle on 34th Street" (1946)

10. "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" (1964)_ Yes, the movie itself which features a very young Pia Zadora does actually suck, but the title is still vintage!

We should mention that John Waters has said that his favorite Christmas movie is "Christmas Evil," also known as "You Better Watch Out." The 1981 horror film predates the much more known and decidedly infamous 1984 slasher flick "Silent Night, Deadly Night" which features a Santa Claus who goes around killing folks.

Currently, American audiences are intrigued by the film "Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale" out of Finland which depicts a Santa Claus who is found frozen in the Arctic Circle. It is currently showing at the following cinemas (not listing every cinema where it's playing, but the film is not showing everywhere): Carousel Luxury Cinemas in Greensboro, NC, Landmark E Street Cinemas in Washington DC, Kendall Square Cinema in Cambridge, Mass. and lastly, Lyric Cinema Cafe in Fort Collins, Colo.