Potluck Quote of the Day (7 of 10): Gilda Radner

Today, we salute Sir Paul McCartney for finally getting on the cover of "Rolling Stone," yes, please forgive our offbeat sense of humor. We also noticed today that Wheaties has gone retro as they have former American Olympic swimming legend Janet Evans on their boxes; yea, we don't think she will get replaced by Ryan Lochte either. BTW, Evans turns 45 on August 28th.

Since, we are not Conan O'Brien, we will go ahead and jump to our quote from the late Gilda Radner (1946-1989) who alas died from cancer at a young age:

"Fame changes a lot of things, but I can't change a light bulb."



http://www.janetevans.com

http://teamcoco.com/

http://www.rollingstone.com

20-word Fiction: The Comedian (1 of 10)

Greetings from Atlanta:

Saw a great stand-up comic last night. I forget his name. Had one too many vodka shots.


(This is a work of fiction; the comedian pictured is Adam Cayton-Holland. He has been featured on Conan O'Brien)......

Free Form Blogging: Sportsmen of Yesteryear

Greetings to our blog readers in Brazil, Estonia and South Africa.

Today, we are continuing the free form blogging series. This basically works kind of like "Mad Libs." We take a couple of words or phrases and make a short piece out of it. Tonight, we will try to achieve using the names of sporting men from yesterday (we have the same exercise with female athletes on our sister blog "The Daily Vampire").

We are going with Turkish soccer great Hakan Sukur, who just turned 42 (Conan O'Brien actually wished him a Happy Birthday on Twitter; pictured top), tennis legend Jimmy Connors, who just turned 61, boxer  Leon Spinks (pictured middle), golfer Arnold Palmer, baseball player Reggie Jackson and Serbian basketball star Vlade Divac (pictured below).

All these athletes are retired, which is a good thing perhaps for Palmer, as he is 93.

Let's go:

"The Turkish soccer team Sivasspor in Sivas, Turkey, has contemplated asking Hakan Sukur to come out of retirement and help them sell more tickets (this is a joke). He had a birthday on Sunday, and 24 hours later, Connors had a birthday too. We imagine these guys have probably never met. But, both athletes are better remembered that Leon Spinks, who once beat Muhammad Ali in the ring, in 1978 (we think).  We have to wonder if Arnold Palmer played putt putt in Myrtle Beach, SC, with Reggie Jackson, who'd win. We imagine that mini-golf is a sport that Vlade Divac is not too good at because: Well, it's one of the few sports where being tall is a disadvantage."

Also, kudos to our beloved Durham Bulls. They beat the Indianapolis Indians 2-0 tonight at home in Durham, NC, in the opening playoff game in the International League.

Coming Attractions-Where in the Soviet Union Will We Go Next

Here are some possible or likely features we will have posted hopefully within the next week assuming we don't get a pie-in-the-face (ala the late tv great Soupy Sales).

1) This week, we finally had a chance to watch the relatively new "Conan" show on TBS with Conan O'Brien who got the shaft at NBC. On the episode I watched, Conan's guest was just-retired NBA great Shaquille O'Neal, who revealed that he likes to go go-kart racing?!

2) Though Lithuania has been in the news, as the mayor of Vilnius unceremoniously crushed a lavish car parked in a bike lane with a tank, we are probably going to go with Turkmenistan as our next destination in our "What We Learned from Google Today" series, which is currently focusing on the former republics of the Soviet Union.

3) We will be continuing our quotes from subversive artists next week. John Waters, R.Crumb and Iggy Pop are among our candidates for the quotes.

_ If you want to take your kids to the movies and you live near Lexington, Va., (one hour north of Roanoke, three hours south of Washington, DC) then the Hull's Drive-in has a lineup geared just for the little ones with a double-feature consisting of "Winnie the Pooh" and "Zookeeper." Of course, for those of us with no kids, we can always stay at home and watch the Criterion version of Ingmar Bergman's "The Seventh Seal" while munching on Milk Duds.

Five People You'll Meet in Hell (satire)

Before I start typing away here, I do want to mention that I am certainly NOT the first person to satire Mitch Albom's book "The Five People You Meet in Heaven." In fact, I found out while researching this piece that there is a satire book entitled (obviously!) "The Five People You Meet in Hell" by Rich Pablom.

I have read neither book, but I made a quick list of five people I would meet if well, things didn't 'quite work out:'

1) Jay Leno- Yes, like all Conan O'Brien fans I hate this guy's guts. My blogger friend Phil Nugent has a great link on his blog to another blog which proclaims that Leno is Satan himself. No disagreement here! The blog "Stuff White People Like" also has a feature on Conan. I think Leno is hip for those who always vote Republican, go to evangelical churches, or watch Lawrence Welk and reruns of "Are You Being Served?"
Even my 70-year-old mom prefers David Letterman.

2)Pat Robertson- He should be numero uno actually. A letter-to-the-editor in "The Roanoke Times" (Roanoke, Va.) actually praised this evil tv evangelist for his comments about how Haiti's earthquake disaster was caused by a pact with Hot Stuff. A letter I have written to a newspaper in Greensboro, NC, condemning Robertson has alas yet to be published?!

3) Recep Tayyip Erdogan- This man is the prime minister of my late father's country Turkey. People of Greek and Armenian heritage seem to arbitrarily hate anyone who is Turkish, which is of course NOT the reason I hate this man. In fact, they are the few people who have ever made me defend him! But, Turkey's first openly Muslim fundamentalist PM has been a nightmare from day one. A Turkish friend of mine called him "The Turkish Bush." His wife wears a head scarf and he can't speak English?! His diplomatic skills are horrible though like his American counterpart Erdogan does connect with rural people. Erdogan also made a bonehead remark on "The Charlie Rose Show" critisizing Israel while defending Ankara's working relationship with Iran. All of this makes me want to reach for the raki* bottle!

*-A Turkish alcoholic drink similar to the Greek drink Ouzo. It is potent to put someone on their %$&!

4) Dick Cheney- I think even if I were a Republican I would believe this man was an agent of Satan himself!

5) Sarah Palin- She is Dick Cheney minus the brain and .............well, this is a family blog! (see Cheney's first name)

Quote of the Week- Conan O'Brien

http://www.topnews.in/light/files/Paris-Hilton-David-Letterman.jpg


Since there are so many late night talk show hosts now (some of whom are making headlines away from their desk), we decided to post quips from most of them on our two respective blogs. Here is one from Conan O'Brien:

"If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice."

This "Rolling Stone" is from 1996. Alas, one of the magazine's contributors mentioned on the cover (PJ O'Rourke) is now a Republican.