Five People You'll Meet in Hell (satire)

Before I start typing away here, I do want to mention that I am certainly NOT the first person to satire Mitch Albom's book "The Five People You Meet in Heaven." In fact, I found out while researching this piece that there is a satire book entitled (obviously!) "The Five People You Meet in Hell" by Rich Pablom.

I have read neither book, but I made a quick list of five people I would meet if well, things didn't 'quite work out:'

1) Jay Leno- Yes, like all Conan O'Brien fans I hate this guy's guts. My blogger friend Phil Nugent has a great link on his blog to another blog which proclaims that Leno is Satan himself. No disagreement here! The blog "Stuff White People Like" also has a feature on Conan. I think Leno is hip for those who always vote Republican, go to evangelical churches, or watch Lawrence Welk and reruns of "Are You Being Served?"
Even my 70-year-old mom prefers David Letterman.

2)Pat Robertson- He should be numero uno actually. A letter-to-the-editor in "The Roanoke Times" (Roanoke, Va.) actually praised this evil tv evangelist for his comments about how Haiti's earthquake disaster was caused by a pact with Hot Stuff. A letter I have written to a newspaper in Greensboro, NC, condemning Robertson has alas yet to be published?!

3) Recep Tayyip Erdogan- This man is the prime minister of my late father's country Turkey. People of Greek and Armenian heritage seem to arbitrarily hate anyone who is Turkish, which is of course NOT the reason I hate this man. In fact, they are the few people who have ever made me defend him! But, Turkey's first openly Muslim fundamentalist PM has been a nightmare from day one. A Turkish friend of mine called him "The Turkish Bush." His wife wears a head scarf and he can't speak English?! His diplomatic skills are horrible though like his American counterpart Erdogan does connect with rural people. Erdogan also made a bonehead remark on "The Charlie Rose Show" critisizing Israel while defending Ankara's working relationship with Iran. All of this makes me want to reach for the raki* bottle!

*-A Turkish alcoholic drink similar to the Greek drink Ouzo. It is potent to put someone on their %$&!

4) Dick Cheney- I think even if I were a Republican I would believe this man was an agent of Satan himself!

5) Sarah Palin- She is Dick Cheney minus the brain and .............well, this is a family blog! (see Cheney's first name)