Top Ten Comics from The Roanoke Times: Hi and Lois Doesn't Make the Cut

We were thinking about writing a letter-to-the-editor to "The Roanoke Times," asking them to replace "Hi and Lois" with the cutting edge, hip Danish import "WuMO," but ultimately, they would probably be more likely to publish a rant from someone on the political fringes, although Cong. David Brat (R-Va) has proven extremists can become elected members of Congress as he maintains that the state of Texas is on the verge of being invaded by ISIS. Yeah, we think he's watched both versions of "Red Dawn" once too many as well!

Here are our top ten comic strips from "The Roanoke Times," in which "Pearls Before Swine" depicts the tragedy of what can happen to an adventurer going to New Zealand (a lake from that country is pict. top), "Speed Bump" shows a date in which the girl wants to be strictly platonic (yes, that the reason for the center image) and "Get Fuzzy" features a row over tuna fish?!

Speaking of the middle image, Molly Ringwald was in nearby Greensboro, NC, recently for a fundraiser for the homeless; we're sorry we missed her!  We also wondered if "Speed Bump" was perhaps a satire of the weekly "Washington Post Magazine" segment "Date Lab," in which a spat over Radiohead makes one feel the other person is not quite right for them!

Here we go:

1) Pearls Before Swine

2) Speed Bump

3) Get Fuzzy

4) Doonesbury

5) Zits

6) Dilbert

7) Agnes

8) Jump Start

9) Garfield

10) Baby Blues

Top 10 Things 2 Do in the Next Week (or so..........)

On occasion when something we want to post becomes too complicated, we resort to our proverbial old bag of tricks, which might also work for David Copperfield (for those of you in Tajikistan, he is an American magician).

And, one of our traditional entries, even dating back to our earliest entries way back in the stone ages of 2005, was a Top 10 Things To Do List; this effectively postpones our hopes to make fun of conservative newspaper columnist Cal Thomas.

So, here is our latest installment, we imagine at the BBC, they are never this desperate:

1) Taxes (the reason for the image of the vintages Mr. Professor children's calculators from the 1970s; I don't live in the Chicago suburb of Skokie, Illinois, but if I did, I'd check in with Ronald A. Weiss)

2) Watch a tape of the University of North Carolina-Clemson baseball game that we recorded on Monday from ESPN-U (this is the reason for the image of a tiger; the Clemson mascot is a tiger with no name, but finding a suitable image of that tiger proved to be difficult and time-consuming as is this explanation)

3) Go to West Virginia

4) Eat a gyro

5) Get new library card

6) Read the Torah (It should be pointed out that I am not Jewish, but I did get a copy of the holy book for one dollar at an estate sale; the image below is of a synagogue in the Czech Republic).

7) Go through old records........as in stuff from bands like The Bee Gees

8) Write a poem (for myself, not for a woman- that never seems to work in real life)

9) Get stamps

10) Read the current issue of the Sunday "Washington Post." (We personally love how the woman always says the man that she is hooked up with in 'Date Lab' is never good enough or lives a few many Metro stops away from her!).

Top 10 Coffee Dates

Since it does NOT appear that the almighty one will grant my wish (see last entry), I have come to the conclusion that I could and should settle for coffee dates instead.

But, of course, a single guy has a Constitutional right to make a wish list of coffee dates that he would love to have even if most of the women on the list are either married or engaged or otherwise attached at the hip.

Alas, I had to cut a few names like Parker Posey and Paris Hilton from the dream list, but Bollywood star Priyanka Chopra (pictured here) and Turkish actress Nurgul Yesilcay (who is great in Fatih Akin's "The Edge of Heaven") made the list:


1. Uma Thurman

2. Scarlett Johansson

3. Jennifer Love Hewitt*

4. Natalie Portman

5. Penelope Cruz

6. Elle MacPherson**

7. Priyanka Chopra

8. Rachel Weisz

9. Sarah Silverman

10. Nurgul Yesilcay


*-I know I will get teased for this one

**-Hey, someone who is actually older than me!

Notice Mill Mountain Coffee and Tea in Roanoke, Va., on the links list. It's one of my favorite places for coffee as is the Green Bean in Greensboro, NC, but they didn't have a link!

Useful Links:

http://www.coffeegeek.com

http://www.starbucks.com

http://millmountaincoffee.com