Ten People Who Would Make Better Oscar Hosts Than Seth MacFarlane (satire)

Yes, Miley Cyrus would probably do a better job as host than Seth MacFarlane did last night; we met her dad country singer Billy Ray Cyrus at the Rockingham County Fair in Harrisonburg, Va., some years ago.

Here is our list:

1) Paris Hilton

2) Miley Cyrus

3) Kim Kardashian

4) Toby Keith

5) Bob Costas

6) Marilyn Manson

7) Glenn Beck

8) Alex Trebek

9) Donald Trump

10) Garrison Keillor

10 People Who Will Decide Election(1 of 10)- Fiddle Player in Missouri

Name: Gary Tate

Hometown: Branson, Missouri

Occupation: Fiddle Player

Age: 72

Will Likely Vote For: Mitt Romney

Wow! We are having lots of tech glitches with this entry. At any rate, this is the start of our series on how one person can decide a state, which can in turn determine the winner of the presidential election. Places like Beckley, West Virginia (George W. Bush 2000), Elko, Nevada (Bush 2004) and Cary, NC (Barack Obama, 2008) have helped determine the last three winners of very close presidential elections.

Today, we focus on the tourist mecca of Branson, Missouri, located off Highway 76. Branson has a population of 10,520, but more importantly the town in southern Missouri near the Arkansas border has popular theatres with mostly country musicians and old-time crooners, such as Roy Clark, Andy Williams,  and Lee Greenwood. Branson also has a theatre run by Russian emigre comic Yakov Smirnoff, who like Greenwood, is known for his conservative politics.

We expect that since Missouri will once again go Republican as John McCain narrowly won the Show Me state in 2008, but President Barack Obama should perform strongly in St.Louis and Kansas City.

DISCLAIMER: Though he shares his name with a pastor in England, Gary Tate is a ficticious person. The image is actually of North Carolina bluegrass legend Hubert W. Watts (1885-1976).

Bonus Road Trip (2 of 10)- From Conway, Ark, to Twitty, Tex.

Today, we are looking at the distances between the two cities that were the basis for the stage name of country-music legend Conway Twitty (1933-1993), who alas died during or shortly a performance in Branson, Missouri.

Twitty's real name was Harold Lloyd Jenkins, and his biggest was perhaps "Hello Darlin," which was number one for four weeks on the country charts in 1970, the year I was born. Recently, I found a vinyl copy of "Conway Twitty Greatest Hits, Volume One" at All Day Records in Carrboro (Chapel Hill Hill), NC.

Conway, Ark., is a college town that is home to Central Arkansas University and where the great Southern literary magazine "Oxford American" is based. It is also where one can find Mike's Place on Front Street, which offers (according to its web sites) lots of good steaks.

While there were plenty of places to choose from for Conway, Ark., the same could not be said for Twitty, Tex., as it has a population of 60 people! But, it does have its own zip code which is 79079.

So, we were able to figure out how far apart these two towns that made Conway Twitty's name are.

Is the answer:

A) 6 hours, 30 minutes

B) 6 hours, 50 minutes

C) 7 hours, 10 minutes

D) 7 hours, 30 minutes