Before We Take a Week Off: Ten More Embarrasing Ways to Die

Greetings to our blog readers in Latvia, Spain and Cyprus, and we send out a special greetings to Glenn Beck, Edward Snowden and Paris Hilton: Three of our favorite celebrity narcissists.

Let's go to the big list on ten ways no one wants to die:

1. Getting hit by a Valley Metro bus in Roanoke, Va. (top image)

2. Seizure from playing War of the Warcraft for 48 straight hours.

3. Getting struck by lightning while playing mini-golf in Ocean City, Maryland.

4. Choking to death on a bowl of Rice Krispies (center image)

5. Getting hit by a foul ball at a Philadelphia Phillies baseball game.

6. Getting struck down in the parking lot by an oncoming vehicle after shopping at Target.

7. Smoke inhalation from house fire caused by smoking Marlboros in bed.

9.  Drowning while fishing in the Dan River in Eden, North Carolina.

10. Getting hit by a falling coconut from a tree while vacationing in Belize (bottom image).

http://www.valleymetro.com

http://www.us.battle.net/wow/

http://www.ococean.com

http://www.ncnorthstar.com/

http://www.travelbelize.org/

Quote of the Week-Mike Tyson

This is our last quote of the year for 2009.

Of course, if you're like me, you spend the first month of every year rebounding from the insanity and chaos that you suffered through during the Christmas holidays, and consider the possibility of defecting to Turkmenistan (since it's a Muslim country, it's probably a great place to get away from it all in December even if the hotel in Ashgabat* doesn't have a flushing toilet!)

We are quipping Mike Tyson, a controversial figure (to put it mildly) in honor of Boxer's Day. Tyson was actually in two films that made my best films of the year list:
"Tyson" (a doc about him) and "The Hangover." But, this was a tragic year for the former boxer as his young daughter died due to injuries sustained in a fall.
There were actually many Tyson quotes to choose, so we went with the most outlandish (hey we need the ratings!):

"All praise is to Allah_I'll fight any many, any animal, if Jesus we're here I'd fight him too."

There was a second quote from Tyson that we found on shavemagazine.com, but you would have to know that Zoloft is an anti-depressant to get the joke:

"I'm on Zoloft to keep from killing you all."

There is also an engaging piece on Tyson in the 40th anniversary of "Interview" magazine, which was founded by the late artist Andy Warhol. I wonder if those two had met what the conversation would have been like?!

The Andy Warhol Museum in Pittsburgh, Pa., is actually open tomorrow but right now I am some seven and a half hours south of there in Roanoke, Va. We have a good relatively new art museum here in town called the Taubman Art Museum, which has an exhibit of Rembrandt sketches, but since this is my hometown and I'm visiting my mom for the holidays, I will probably end up spending the afternoon in a Starbucks or a Target!

*-I did actually have to look the capital of Turkmenistan up, but I do know that the capital of Uzbekistan is Tashkent. Unfortunately, such information does not get one a Starbucks date with the girl you had a crush on in high school (especially, if she's married!)

Facebook Messages We'd Love to Post

"How can anyone accuse me of being a socialist when I think we should just make Christmas a secular holiday to celebrate consumerism?"


I would have loved to have posted this in response to an uber-right-wing friend of mine, but I sense it would cause me problems, especially since I live in a small town in North Carolina where one can see several "Jesus is Coming Soon" signs on the roads. Hopefully, it won't cause me problems here as hardly anyone looks at this blog!

SIDEBAR: Today is Human Light Day, a secular day meant to parallel Christmas and Hanukkah. Greg Epstein, a humanist chaplain at Harvard University, discussed the day and it's meaning on the NPR show "Fresh Air," hosted by Terry Gross today. Secular events have been celebrated in places like Charleston, SC, Tulsa, Okl. and Fayetville, Ark., this week!

SIDEBAR TWO: I found a cool web site tracking Santa Claus. It's called www.noradsanta.org

Regardless of your religious/consumerist views, it should be as fun as last-minute shopping at Target!

Silly Photo to Fill Space- Zhu Zhu Pets

This reminds me of the "Curb Your Enthuiasm" episode in the show's sixth season where Kevin Farley, who played Michael Moore in the politically conservative slapstick comedy "An American Carol" (which tanked at the box office), playing the part of an exterminator inadvertently stomps on a dog because he thinks it's a rat.

Zhu Zhu Pets retail for a mere nine dollars, but because they are hard to find (Wal-Mart and Target have both sold out of them), they now sell on amazon.com for approximately $60!

I would sooner take my daughter (if I had one) to a Britney Spears concert!