Sunday, October 12, 2008

16 People Who Will Decide the Presidency (14 of 16)

Name: Timothy Adkins* (Image is of Ned Flanders from "The Simpsons")

Age: 47

Job: Manages Christian radio station in Burlington, Iowa.

Politics: Very Conservative

Voting for: Sarah Palin.....oh doodly do....I meant John McCain

*-Timothy is a fictitious person and any resemblances to a real Timothy Adkins are yada, yada, yada.....

 Burlington, Iowa, sits on the Illinois border along the Mississippi River in southern Iowa, not far from the capital of Des Moines.

The city has a population of circa 27,000, and the mayor is Mike Edwards, who could perhaps also be a vice-presidential candidate some day.

Burlington is the home of Snake Alley, the crookedest alley in the world (pictured above). The city is 91.6 percent white. It's sister city is Barbacena, Brazil, and it is home to the Burlington Bees, a Class A minor league baseball team in the Midwest League.

The Hawkeye State is important in determining the presidential candidates with the Iowa Caucus, which Barack Obama won. But, it is also vital with the presidential election itself.

Iowa is leaning blue this time around, but there is a heavy evangelical base which the likes of Timothy Adkins is firmly entrenched in. His likes helped Mike Huckabee win the caucus on the Republican side. But, the state is also represented by Sen. Tom Harkin (D-Iowa) who is considered to be one of the most progressive members of Congress.

Ned Flanders first appeared in the series premiere of "The Simpsons" in 1989.

He is a devout, overbearing Christian neighbor of The Simpson family, and he is despised by Homer Simpson.

Ned is considered to be a pillar of the Springfield community, and he owns the Leftorium, a store which sells supplies for left-handed people, like Flanders. He also follows the Bible as literally as possible, and he is a timid push-over. But, according to Wikipedia, Ned is also well-endowed. (Yes, I was surprised by this too!)

The character who frequently uses the term 'dooodly' was recognized at The Greenbelt Fest, a British Christian music festival, in 2001 and 2002. The event featured a tribute band named (gotta love this!) Ned Zeppelin. I imagine they performed a "Stairway to Heaven."

Useful Links:

http://www.thesimpsons.com

http://www.snakealley.com

http://www.burlingtoniowa.org

 


Tags:

Saturday, October 11, 2008

16 People Who Will Decide the Presidency (13 0f 16)

 

Name: Ari Lieberman (image is of Charles Montgomery Burns from "The Simpsons")

Age: 78

Job: Casino Owner

Residence: Las Vegas, Nev.

Income: $80 million/year......after taxes

Political Views: Will pay you to vote Republican

Voting for: John McCain, and providing his helicopter

Well, we have decided to move Charles Montgomery Burns from his job as a nuclear power plant owner in Springfield and make him a casino owner in Las Vegas, who makes Wayne Newton look like a Chinese girl who makes sneakers in a sweat shop.

The real-life basis for Ari Lieberman (apologies to any real-life Ari Liebermans!) is Sheldon Adelson, a very wealthy, Zionist extremist, who is the third richest man in America. The casino owner was profiled in "The New Yorker" over the summer and his influence on Republicans in American and conservatives in Israel is either impressive or scary depending on your political persuasion.

Adelson, who lets George W. Bush stay free in The Bellogio (one of his main casinos), actually bribed Cong. Shelley Berkley (D-Nev.) to switch parties. When she refused, he financially backed her challenger.

 Nevada is a definitive swing state again this year, but it is Elko not Las Vegas which will be the deciding factor in whether Nevada goes blue or stays red this election cycle.

 "The New York Times" reports that there are a lot of independents and newly-registered Democrats in Elko, which has traditionally voted Republican. If there is one city in America that could make a difference, it just might be Elko which, along with rural Ohio, was one of the reasons why Bush won in 2004.

As for Charles Montgomery Burns, he is 'reportedly' worth $16.8 billion and "Wizard" magazine ranked him as the 45th most notorious villain of all time. Hmmmm....I wonder where The Penguin* finished?

The mayor of Las Vegas is Oscar B. Goodman. If you are a Vegas resident, and wish to complain about potholes or prostitutes in your neighborhood, you can contact Mayor Goodman (is that a perfect name for a mayor, or what!) at ..........(702) 229-well, you can look it up on the internet.

*-The Penguin was a villain in the "Batman" comic book series.

The second image is of Graceland Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas.

Useful Links:

mediabistro.com

lasvegassun.com

lasvegaswedding4u.com

lvabj.com

wedlok.org

 

 

Thursday, October 9, 2008

16 People Who Will Decide the Presidency (12 of 16)

 Name: Mrs. Marisa Paredes*

Age: 48

Occupation: School Teacher

Residency: Las Cruces, New Mexico

Income: $38,000/year

Politics: Pro-Life Democrat

Voting for: Still Undecided

*-Fictitous name though I borrowed the name from an actual Mexican actress who appeared in the disturbing film "Deep Crimson" about a couple who went on a spree killing rampage.

Yes, I know the image is of Mrs. Edna Krabappel from "The Simpsons," but we have given her a different name and moved her to Las Cruces.

The city is one of the largest in New Mexico with a population of 75,000.

The mayor of Las Cruces is Ken Miyagishima.

The city is home to New Mexico State University.

In late September, there is a Whole Enchilada Festival which attracts 50,000 visitors. In 2000, the fiesta's 10.5 foot long enchilada was certified as the largest one ever by The Guiness Book of World Records (hold the big enchilada cracks).

 "The New York Times" has cited Las Cruces as a major swing city along with Elko, Nev., and Fairfax, Va.

Las Cruces was the town where both Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid lived. It has three sister cities, including Lerda, Mexico, and Niemberg, Germany.

Bill Richardson, who is one of my favorite Democrats, is the governor of New Mexico. Up until the Soviet** invasion of Georgia, I held out hope that Barack Obama would select him as his running mate, but the circumstances favored Joe Biden more.

As for Mrs. Krabappel, she is a fourth grade teacher who naturally hates Bart Simpson. She is voiced by Marcia Wallace.

The teacher is alumnus of Bryn Mawr College and according to actress Tilda Swinton, she inspired the hairdo for her character in the latest Coen Brothers film "Burn After Reading."

Bart's nemesis (well, she is not the only one) is also a chain-smoker and a man-hungry flirt.

There are many pro-life Democrats here in North Carolina (not moi!), including Cong. Heath Shuler (D-NC) who was a Washington Redskins quarterback. Shuler ultimately baked Hillary Clinton in the state primary.

Along with guns and gay marriage, abortion reamins a sticky issue for Democrats, particularly in The South, where some people actually think Jesus rode an elephant. Although, let's face it-if the likes of Judge Samuel Alito overturned Roe vs. Wade on The Supreme Court, it would all but bankrupt the Republican Party.

Useful Links:

http://www.lasa-cruces.org

http://daphnewaynebaugh.blogspot.com

(I presume this is a cooking blog)

Many technical difficulties with this blog entry!!!! But, I was suffering from insomnia anyway!

**-Ooops! Yes, I meant Russian instead of Soviet. I was watching a doc about Jimmy Carter on PBS a few nights ago, so I guess my mind thought it was 1979 all over again. At least, I'm not adding "Eight is Enough" reruns to my Netflix que.

16 People Who Will Decide the Presidency (11 of 16)

 Image: Mayor Joe Quimby from "The Simpsons."

Name: Thomas J. Carlson (This is actually a real person)

Occupation: Mayor of Springifield, Mo.

Age: 55 (Educated Guess)*

Voting for: Still Undecided

*-We won't bother trying to figure out the salary.

 Photo: The Real Tomas J. Carlson

This is is the first of my blog entries in this series to be based on a "Simpsons" cahracter and the last one to use the name of a real person.

Missouri is always a toss-up state in presidential elections, or at least it has been lately. The Show Me State is the home state for both right-wing blowfish Rush Limbaugh and actor/activist Don Cheadle, who has vocally endorsed Barack Obama.

Springfield, Mo., is a city of 150,797, and it is according to Forbes magazine one of the 'wildest weather' cities in America.

 Springfield is also where Wild Bill Hickok killed a man in the first quick-draw duel of The Old West in 1865 (hence the reason we're using an image of '60s cartoon character Quickdraw McGraw here).

The sister cities of Springfield include Tours, France and Isesaki, Japan.

The real mayor of Springfield (Mo.) was elected in 2001, and is serving his third term whereas Mayor Joe Quimby, who is based on Sen. Ted Kennedy (D-Mass.), was elected in 1986.

Interestingly enough, I found out that Mayor Quimby is a Democrat, but I found no such info on Mayor Carlson's party affiliation though I saw a very heated letter from a local Libertarian named Keith L. Rodgers, which made me realize why I'm not a Libertarian.

It is widely believed that the Springfield on "The Simpsons" is based on Springfield, Mass. Ted Kennedy actually campaigned to get "The Simpsons Movie" to have its premiere in Springfield, Mass., but it went to Springfield, Vt., instead.

My good friend Moviezzz is a huge fan of "The Simpsons," a show that for some reason I tend to watch whenever I'm vacationing in Myrtle Beach, SC, more than I do normally. Moviezzz also happens to live in Springfield, Mass.

Useful Links:

www.springfieldmo.org

www.news-leader.com

www.talkingmoviezzz.blogspot.com

 

 

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

16 People Who Will Decide the Presidency (10 of 16)



Name: Chrissie Hynde
Age: 57
Job: Lead Singer of The Pretenders and owner of vegan restaurant
Residence: Akron, Ohio
Politics: Very Liberal
Voting for: Ralph Nader?!

We are not really sure who Hynde is actually voting for, but we feel confident that it is not Bob Barr or John McCain. Contrary to popular belief, there are some people who call themselves liberal who will vote for third party candidates like Ralph Nader and Cynthia McKinney.
One thing I love about people like Hynde, who has been arrested for protesting with PETA, is that they make middle-of-the-road Democrats, like myself, look very moderate. The problem is that trailer park Republicans who watch Fox News 24/7 and never leave the house think Hynde is like the rest of us! But, I would agree with folks like Hynde in that someone like Sarah Palin who cares nothing about endangered polar bears or wolves is not worthy of being veep on those merits alone. Ironically, The Pretenders are frequently played on Rush Limbaugh. I guess he paid the licensing fee.
After years of living in the UK, Hynde now lives in her native Akron, Ohio. The city's minor league baseball team is the Akron Aeros, who have Orbit (pictured) here as the team mascot. It is a swing city in a swing state, and it was once known as the rubber capital of the world until hard times hit the rust belt.
In a "New York Times" article about The Pretenders, who have just released a new album "Break Up the Concrete," Hynde told reporter Alan Light that she had opened a vegan restaurant in Akron called Vegi-Terranean, which has proved to be a surprising success.
Ohio has voted Republican in recent presidential elections, but this year it is a yellow state.



Here is The Pretenders' song "Don't Get Me Wrong" which seemingly could be any politician's theme song.

Useful Links:

http://www.akronaeros.com

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

16 People Who Will Decide the Presidency (9 of 16)

This will mark my first use of a real person in this series. The info came from yesterday's "USA Today." Alas, I could not find a photo of the subject on the web. Hence, the reason there is a map in his place.

Name: Dante Butler

Age: 28

Job: Facilities Mgr., in Jacksonville, Fla.

Voting for: Barack Obama

Butler, a married African-American with a 16-month old daughter, was among young voters who were profiled in a story about the new enthuiasm of voters under 30 in "USA Today."

He told the daily newspaper that his top concerns were the economy, the Iraq war, social security and jobs.

Butler said that he feels John McCain is an extension of George W. Bush, while Barack Obama shares his visions about universal health care and an exit strategy for Iraq.

Florida is a toss-up state which (as everyone knows) decided the 2000 presidential elections, with a little help from Clarence Thomas.

 

"The New York Times" has it listed as a 'yellow state' along with Virginia, New Hampshire, Ohio, Nevada and Colorado. But, Obama has gained momentum in The Sunshine State as he has done in poll after poll while the devastating economic collapse of Wall Street last week.

SIDEBAR: A Republican driving a van in the Roanoke, Va., area actually tried to literally run me off the road all because I have an Obama bumper sticker on my car! The driver also tailgated me as I was driving a school zone with flashing lights. He then gave me a thumbs down sign as he turned away. I promptly gave him a 'thumbs up' in return.

Monday, October 6, 2008

16 People Who Will Decide the Presidency (8 of 16)


(Photo is of Garrison Keillor, but he does look like a minister here, doesn't he?!)

Name: Rev. Tom Douglass*
Hometown: St. Paul, Minn.
Age: 61
Income: $35,000/year
Politics: Conservative Democrat
Voting for: Barack Obama

*- The Rev. Tom Douglass is not a real person. Yes, I know Garrison Keillor assuredly makes more than $35,000/year.

Most preachers here in the South, with the exception of Unitarians and black churches, tend to go Republican, but in Minnesota things are a bit more even.

(Photo is of Lake Itasca in Minnesota)

The state is currently leaning Democratic, which should help stand-up comedian Al Franken who is looking to oust incumbent Sen. Norm Coleman (R-Minn.) from his seat, in one of the more interesting senate races.

Americans United for Separation of Church and State is reporting that many churches are crossing the line with their congregation when it comes to political exploitation. One scandalous example is the Rev. Francis Pultro of Philadelphia who said during a Sunday sermon that:
"As Christians, it's clear we should vote for John McCain. He is the only candidate I believe a Christian can vote for."

The irony is that in 2000, McCain went to great lengths to distance not only his candidacy but also the GOP from the likes of Pat Robertson. It didn't work!

Useful Links:

http://www.au.org
http://www.npr.org